


How Easy Things Change

by Skellington24



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Neville Longbottom, Dark Harry, Dark Neville Longbottom, Developing Friendships, Dumbledore Being a Dick, Eventual Smut, Friends to Lovers, Ginny died (2nd year), M/M, Making this up as I go along, Mpreg, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sane Voldemort, Slow Burn, Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-04-21 17:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 32,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14289672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skellington24/pseuds/Skellington24
Summary: (Sorry, crappy title, hate titles) Harry doesn't save Ginny in the Chamber of Secrets. While mourning her death, and dealing with his shitshow relatives, he finds someone he can confide in. Tom seems nice enough, and best of all doesn't want anything from Harry. He's there to help when he can. Friends grow up, and the prospect of becoming more is on the horizon. But there's a reason Tom is so mysterious, and everything he's told Harry is a lie. But what does that mean for their friendship?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Shit summary, I humbly apologise for it. Summaries are so not my strong point, though writing isn't either, but why not? Enjoy ^^ if you can, cos it might be crap :(

_Why didn't she talk to someone?_ Dumbledore said Ginny had been possessed by the blank book found beside her, that she'd let it into her mind. I don't know how that works, but I suppose if the Weasley's accept it then I shouldn't kick off. They were her family after all... _are_ her family. She might not be alive now, but Molly will always be her mother and Ron will always be her brother. They _are_ her family. Only Fred and George seemed to have a problem with that explanation like I did. It was clear Dumbledore knew more than he let off, he always knew more than he said, but that wasn't enough for the twins this time. They wanted to know why their sister was dead, why it took two fucking days to notice she was missing, and why nobody seems to know who killed her. They wanted justice. I get them, I shared those thoughts. Dumbledore never tells me anything when I need to know, always just after so he can make it a life lesson. It just fucking sucks he's making a life lesson risking a young girl's life. I just wish I'd done things differently.

I can't help but wish she'd tried to get rid of it, just so I could find it. At least then if she'd taken it back, I'd have known that demon book existed. I'd have known to look for her as soon as I stopped seeing her at breakfast. Maybe I could have found her sooner, stopped whatever monster was in that book from devouring her life for its evil purpose. I could have saved Hermione from being petrified somehow, so she could decipher the location of the Chamber of Secrets before Ginny went missing. She was the only reason we actually found it because Ron wouldn't do anything without her. He could have followed the spiders with me but he got scared and decided to wait by her bedside instead, and not because he fancied her like he was trying to portray. Just so he wouldn't have to pretend to be brave like he should be. And yet he blamed me. When we finally found the god-forsaken place under Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, and I opened the door with Parseltongue, Ginny was laying on the floor. She could have been sleeping, flat on her back on the cold, wet stone, with her eyes closed and one hand curled over a black book beside her soaked robes.

After we gave up shaking and screaming at her, stopped trying to summon life back to her dead eyes, Ron had turned on me. Apparently, it was my fault that we didn't find her because Hermione was taken down and I hadn't stepped up to be a leader. I didn't yell back. I wanted to because he was being so unfair, but he'd lost his sister and was just looking for someone to blame. Her killer wasn't there but I was. Hermione didn't stop him either, which did bug me. Why wouldn't she stick up for me, when Ron was clearly in the wrong? That was usually her job, but maybe she was in the same state of mind I was. _Just let him run his anger down to grief_. I kept my mouth shut as we pulled her back to the end of the pipe, and let Ron bellow to Myrtle for help. I didn't even speak when I heard Ron say the same things to Percy in Dumbledore's office while we waited for Molly and Arthur. His dad seemed distraught but looked at me as he looked at the rest of his children, like he was there for me when the grief took hold. His mum didn't even look at me, making it clear that she thought the same as Ron. Dumbledore didn't say a word until he'd flooed two more people into his office, that the twins identified as their older brothers Bill and Charlie, the two I'd never met before. They stood close to me, and Bill and Charlie hugged me when they hugged Fred and George. It was nice that they didn't all blame me. I wasn't losing my whole family, just those who mustn't have thought highly of me to start with.

I had to hold Fred and George back when they tried to bully more answers from Dumbledore, and hold them up when they cried. Molly dragged them away from me when the family was given permission to leave early, and Hermione left with Ron before either of them had to talk to me. Ginny may not have been my true family, but I was grieving too, so it cut me deep to have my family dragged away. Dumbledore escorted me to the Dursley's and that was it. The school closed early for an investigation, and my year at Hogwarts was over. No word from either of my 'best friends'. Fred and George had sent me letters, an apology for not being allowed to Ginny's funeral, and apologises for Ron's behaviour. They came to see me once and said Ron was going to stop being my friend, and that Hermione was sticking with him. All Ron had talked about those few days before was how much he'd always hated me for risking their lives, and that he couldn't stand my 'sad childhood' act. They advised I didn't go near him when we went back to school for our third year, because he'd no doubt grovel for my popularity to feed his own. I agreed. Seemed only Fred and George were willing to go against their family's views and talk to me, though I was assured the Bill and Charlie wanted to but had to go back to Egypt and Romania. They also thought their dad was conflicted, because he'd asked them to wish me a happy birthday.

So here I am, sat on a swing in the park, sulking. Not swinging, just sitting and thinking. About how my only true friends had abandoned me for something that wasn't my fault. About how a girl I thought of as a sister had died, cold, alone and wet, probably terrified of whatever took her life. And about how I couldn't attend her funeral, the closure I needed was denied to me. I was to spend an extra week with my awful relatives. Not just eight weeks, but now nine weeks, and a visit from my nasty Aunt Marge. The summer couldn't be worse. Someone sits on the swing next to me, but I don't move, I don't really care at this point. I just carry on thinking,  _'summer can't end fast enough'_.

"Hello. Are you alright?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 27/09/18 -I've hit that point where I go through my story to correct grammar and inevitably add/change some things. So keep an eye out.


	2. Getting to Know Tom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping for a couple of chapters a week, but that's probably way too ambitious, so enjoy however they come ^^

"Hello. Are you alright?"

I looked over in surprise at the boy sat next to me. I didn't recognise him, but the stranger just smiled in an almost friendly way as he swung slightly beside me. It was a nice smile. Charming and approachable, but something edgy that aimed to intrigue. But I wasn't in the mood for strangers to bother me, so I just nodded and looked away. Apparently, this didn't bother him one bit, as he continued talking to me. He explained how he'd just moved to Magnolia Crescent, to streets away from Privet Drive, and was out trying to get used to the neighbourhood when he saw me looking like I wanted to jump off a bridge. He wanted to see if there was anything he could do to help me. I thought about asking if he knew where the closest bridge was, but I knew my tone wouldn't be light enough to convince him I was joking. He looked comfortable, like he did this all the time, but I got the feeling something was off. Like he was burying discomfort to talk to me.

"I haven't got any allies here, so what do you say? Want to be my friend?"

His voice was light and held no judgement. It was baritone, and his words smoothed my mood like magic. It might have been magic for all I knew, but I wasn't in the mood to care. It was actually making me feel a little better, and I wasn't strong enough to fight back. I looked back at the stranger with a more critical eye, inspecting more than I'd bothered to before. The boy was older than me, but not by too much, 18 years old maybe. His hair was black, not short but styled neatly, unlike mine. His eyes were brown, like chocolate, and seemed to brighten when I finally paid attention to him. He was very attractive, in an aristocratic way, very sharp features. A set of full-lips smiled at me, rose pink on his pale skin. Yes, very attractive. I looked down quickly, realising I been gawping at him, not that he wouldn't have noticed. _What had come over me?_   In a lame attempt to calm myself, I noticed how similar he was to Malfoy. He sat straight on the swing, ankles crossed and seeming totally comfortable talking to a complete stranger, alive with his superiority. Actually, though he was dressed in ordinary muggle jeans and a shirt, he looked like a Calvin Klien model in designer clothes. Very much like Malfoy.

"Well, my name's Tom if you were interested." He continued, "do I get to know your name?"

"Harry"

Tom's smile brightened, and his eye glimmered when I spoke for the first time. Clearly, he knew me, knew I was Harry Potter but didn't want to say anything. Just wanted to tell people he'd met me, or spoken to me, so he could latch onto some small part of my fame like Ron used to. Like Ron probably would try to still do, not that I was going to let him. I was taking Fred and George's advice. I was just going to ignore him when I got back for the year, Hermione to, find other friends somehow. Start fresh like it was my first year again. A hand waved in front of my face, and my eyes refocus on Tom's concerned face, freeing my mind from its path through uncertainty. Concerned about not holding my attention probably, he really was too much like Malfoy.

"So, friend, what's your favourite colour?"

I raised an eyebrow at him.  _Where's he going with this_? "Red, I guess."

Tom grinned, "That's nice, mine's green. Anything you want to ask me? In the spirit of getting to know new friends."

I shrugged. I wasn't really interested. Tom looked good, and his articulate words sounded good too, which meant he was either a dickhead with a superiority complex or a dickhead hungering for attention in my experience, and I was already too moody to deal with either. He frowned, shaking his head sadly. When he stood up I expected him to leave me in peace. But he went around the back of me and tugged the seat of the swing back. My grip tightened. I thought he'd meant to throw me off, fitting to my evaluation of him being a dickhead, but he just pushed me. Like a parent with their child, pushing me higher. It was as close to flying as I could get during summer, the wind whipping past me as I swung, just not high up in the sky. When a laugh broke my bad mood, Tom moved to his own swing and moved with me. We weren't in synchronisation, but I could still see Tom smiling, his hair whipped out of place. Maybe he wasn't another Malfoy.

"So, how come I've only just seen you now? Do you go to a boarding school or something?"

I laughed, "Yeah, Hogwarts. I left a week early."

"I didn't think you were a muggle. I left school early too, finished all the work for the school year."  _Over-achiever_. "I go to Drumstrang."

I slowed down, dragging my feet to stop. I'd never heard of Drumstrang and wasn't rude enough to just assume Tom was making it up, though I was certainly suspicious. At least he wasn't only talking to me because I was 'The Boy Who Lived', he seemed to have no idea that was me. Tom stopped too but didn't look disappointed. I questioned where Durmstrang was and he smirked. It's in Norway, but they keep the location secret from other wizarding schools. Not that I had any idea where that was. He explained that he went there because they're less prejudice to the dark arts, and you can read about it in the school library if you know where to look. Tom expressed his belief that he gets a better understanding of Defence Against the Dark Arts if he's studied the dark arts he's defending against. The logic made sense to me, so I nodded along. But didn't forget that this could make him dangerous.

"Actually, the last powerful dark wizard before You-Know-Who was Gellert Grindelwald, and he went to Durmstrang." Tom explained, "he left his mark all over the place. Sorry if this kinda bores you, but I've always found his uprising to be fascinating. Insanity, but interesting."

"I've seen worse."

I looked away from his curious eyes, and the wind blew my fringe back. His eyes flicked to my scar and recognition hit. He eyed me in wonder, and I ground my teeth together as I stood. No way was I listening to another congratulation speech about something I don't remember and the death of my parents. I walked towards the park's gate and felt his presence behind me. Just when I considered turning around to punch him, he apologised.

"I didn't mean to stare. I've heard you're not a fan of public attention, but I had no idea it was you. It was just the shock."

He looked sincere to me, and I didn't have the energy to stay angry at him. It felt kinda nice to talk to someone away from Hogwarts. Since Dudley scared all my potential friends away as soon as they greeted me, I couldn't talk to anyone. Completely isolated, just as my relatives like me. And now I didn't have the comfort of friends in Hogwarts I could talk to, so having Tom around wouldn't be so bad. He certainly wasn't bad to look at. I shrugged in response and stopped walking. While I crossed my arms and looked down awkwardly, he stood there composed. Completely confident, even now. I envied him. I asked him to tell me about Durmstrang, what it was like and all that, and he did. We drifted over to a bench as he spoke and I hung on each word. Half to detect a lie, and another half because his voice was calming to listen to.

"So, tell me about Hogwarts, the stuff I haven't read in books," Tom chuckled. "Like what the houses are like, Durmstrang doesn't use a house system. And your friends, what are they like?"

"Well, purely based on my experiences, the house system is pretty great. It gives a family vibe, makes Hogwarts a home away from home. I'm in Gryffindor, so I do stupid crap mostly in the name of bravery, and I'm not so good at lessons either. Only one Gryffindor girl bothers to put any work in, but she acts like a Ravenclaw about it. The Ravenclaws kind of just strut around, because they know they're smarter than the other houses. If you're friends with them then they help with homework and give good advice, but that's only the nicer ones. Hufflepuffs are usually the nice ones, really friendly and loyal. Huge party throwers too. I don't want to compare them to Golden Retrievers, but it fits too well. And Slytherins are assholes. Complete shitbags, they're smart sure, but unless you're a Slytherin they're bullies. The biggest."

"Wow. And you're friends? Are they all in Gryffindor?"

I didn't answer. Sure it could have helped to talk to him, unload all my angst in a way I couldn't with the twins, but I couldn't fully trust him yet. He must have read my facial expression or body language or something because he didn't press the subject. He just talked about his friends, but that didn't take long. Most people he knew were acquaintances, but he had five people in his 'inner circle'. All boys, because they were 'easier to handle'. I had the feeling he was an easy manipulator. Maybe he was trying to manipulate me, which I think was working easier than it should have been.

"So, friends is a rough topic, do I attempt questions about you're family?"

I shook my head. He just nodded. "We can always talk about it tomorrow. I'll meet you here, 10:30? And we'll go to my place for tea or something, okay?"

I gaped at him as he rose from his seat. Part of me thought I should think he was rude, just making plans for me without asking me, like I didn't have a voice or choice in the matter. But strangely I liked it. Having someone make insignificant decisions for me that I'd always overthink, taking control of the little things that would actually help, but not in a way that I'd hate. He was making plans to treat me, and I felt like I needed that.  _Why not_? I didn't disagree, just watched him walk out the gate and leave. His ass looked quite nice in jeans. That wasn't wrong to think, right? Boys liking boys isn't really something people talk about so I had no idea. The Dursleys would say so, but everything I did was wrong to them.  _Screw it_ , I'd ask him during tea, see if I can break the facade I think he's putting up. Or maybe I'd get to see his ass in a tighter pair of jeans, it would be fun. So I'd show up.  _Why not_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 27/09/18 -Couple of chapters a week?? What was I thinking?


	3. Tea and Talking

Tom came over to the bench I sat on, and I stood up to meet him. Once again he was dressed in smart-casual style, wearing black jeans and a crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled up and the top three buttons were undone. How was it possible for him to look like a professional model effortlessly at 10:30 in the morning? He must use magic to be so alluring. Otherwise, it just wouldn't be fair.

"Good morning, Harry."

"Morning Tom"

Tom gestured towards Magnolia Cresent, and a nervous knot developed in my belly as I followed beside him. All I could think about last night was being alone with him in his house, and the things he might want to do or talk about. Many times I considered he'd want to brag about screwing around with Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived, rather than just me. But then I considered that while I didn't ask what his actual age was, he was still older than me. It was unlikely he was into other guys, and even if he was he wouldn't want an inexperienced 13-year-old.

"I never asked, but how old are you?" I asked, trying to feign disinterest and failing.

"17. I'll be 18 in December,"  _So definitely not interested in a 13-year-old_.

He didn't say anything else, so I didn't respond either. Whereas most silences are awkward, the silent walk to Tom's house was peaceful and comfortable. It was strange to be used to someone so quickly, but I just felt comfortable around him, like we already knew each other. Maybe I should have been warier, considering it could be magic making me feel this way, but I was at a point where I just didn't want to care anymore. I had no friends around and my family hates me, so even if Tom was using magic to manipulate me, then at least he was being nice about it. And there was just something about him, spiritual rather than physical, that a part of me felt connected to.

Tom lead the way through the street, and it was as bad as Privet Drive. All the houses lined the street at an even distance from the path and each other. The path was the same width, everything was done perfectly. Not one thing out of place, each house and hydrangea patch a replica of the one next to it. Except for one. The house we were heading towards had more colour to it. The exterior was painted, a pastel yellow colour that looked like it absorbed sunlight and the flowerbed beneath the window was full of blues and pinks and purples. The brick walls and flowerbeds consisting of only hydrangeas looked dull and uninteresting next to this house. Tom noticed my gaze and smirked about enjoying being special, and having the nicest garden in the street.

"Well it is, it's beautiful." I marvelled, "I'd love to have a garden like this, but no way would my aunt let me."

Tom pulled out his keys to unlock the front door and the interior was unique too. Not only did the place feel strangely homey, but it looked like Tom had placed his stamp on it. The hallway was a grey and the carpet was almost black. But everything else was colourful, like a blue shoe rack and pink photo frames. The pattern of bright furniture contrasting dull walls and floors continued in the living room and open plan kitchen. Everything was just...perfect to me. Kind of wacky but cute, and I knew I'd get on well with the decorator. It felt much homier than the Burrow, and just not as sparse. Money probably wasn't a problem for Tom's parents. He walked me into the kitchen and straight to the kettle. So when he said tea, he meant  _tea_. Fun.

"So, you trust me enough to follow me into my empty house, alone, with many possible dangers. Would you say you trust me enough to answer my question from yesterday, about your friends?"

I looked away. I trusted him, I couldn't help but trust him for some reason, I just didn't want to talk about it. It was a tender topic. He turned away from me, continuing to make our tea. I think I disappointed him by not answering, which made me uncomfortable. I tried to explain that I trusted him, it was just I'd lost my friends and didn't want to talk about it. He didn't respond until the tea was made and we were both sat at the table with our drinks in front of us, though neither of us actually drinking.

"Talking through problems helps you heal from them. Or so I've heard. If you mean that you have no friends, then I'd say you kind of need me. So use me. Talk to me."

I looked into my mug as I spoke, "I had these two best friends, Ron and Hermione. Hermione was the smart one I mentioned yesterday, and Ron was just the guy friend I could say anything to. We've been through some pretty dangerous things together, and I thought if they stuck with me through that, they'd always be my friends. But last year, there was a monster or something that got in the school and petrified a bunch of kids, Hermione included. Ron's little sister went missing and he wanted to wait until Hermione was back in the fight. He was too scared to go without the brains of the group.

"She was cured and checked up. When she left the Hospital Wing, she found the monster's hiding place. We were too late, Ginny was dead. We had to carry her body to the teachers. Ron blames me, and apparently, his family does too. Only four of his brothers don't blame me, maybe his dad. It still hurts because his family was like my family, and now they don't speak to me. Fred and George can't write as often as I'd like. So I'm alone, or I was."

"I'm sorry, that sounds real - if you'll pardon the language - shitty." Tom frowned, reaching over the table to hold my hand. "But you aren't alone. I know I might be asked to leave after I turn 18, but I'm going to try not to. I want to be here for you when you come back next summer. And as many summers after that when you need me. Want me."

I smiled at him, and he smiled back. My hand rested in his, and I felt his magic pulse through me with this familiar heat. I don't think he did it intentionally, which didn't exactly encourage me, but my mind raced through ways to subtly find out if he liked boys. He took his hand back and started to drink his tea. I sipped at mine, ignoring the fact I hadn't asked for sugar so it was bland. And hot. But it distracted me from the increased warmth of my blood, so I welcomed the burn. I lost the reigns on my mind and remembered how nice his ass had looked yesterday, sparking an evening of questioning if I could like boys or if I was mental or something. And if he'd be interested in me in that way. It really isn't helpful, not having a role model I could talk to about this.

"Penny for your thoughts Harry," Tom chuckled. "You look lost in them again."

"I was just re-questioning if it was wrong, if it is wrong to notice how nice jeans make your ass look, if looking makes me weird or mental or something. It kept me up most of last night. I have no other friends to ponder with, and my relatives think everything out of the ordinary is freaky, so admiring another guy's ass would get me grounded."  _Stop talking!_

Tom looked frozen in shock, and I was slightly worried I'd already ruined our budding friendship with my god-awful verbal diarrhoea. He shifted slightly and looked over at me, but I kept my eyes closed as I chugged down my still boiling tea. I felt his fingers move the hand with my mug away from my mouth and we made eye contact. He leant back and just stared at me. Then his eyes moved to my forehead. For a second I considered the possibility of just ignoring that and letting him use me for my last name because I'd never felt connected to someone like this. I'd always thought soulmates was sappy and stupid, a lie from romantic novels to give single women hope, but I could be convinced he was mine. But I had more respect for myself than that. Not much I'll admit, but enough to stand and take my mug to the sink.

"I should go, my aunt will probably want help around the house. See you whenever."

I rushed out of his house and turned a random corner before he reached the door. I watched him look around, and his confusion swiftly changed to rage. He looked like he was about to kick something or someone but just returned to his house. Must be bitterly disappointed to lose the opportunity to use my fame to get things. I can think of a few people that would bend over backwards for Harry Potter's boyfriend. But I guess being interested in boys wasn't as bad as I'd originally started assuming. Hopefully, it would be easy to avoid him. If I didn't leave the house, then I wouldn't see him. Simple, and I wasn't allowed out all that often. I refused to face this problem, I didn't want the violent confrontation that was bound to happen when his rage met mine. Tom was nice enough, but after how angry he just looked, I wasn't so sure Tom would hold back if I hit him. It wasn't strange for me to get angry quickly, I had a short fuse at the best of times, but did I really need to be angry like I was at that moment. Mostly angry with myself. I tried to shake it off and returned to Privet Drive, getting the customary shriek from my aunt about treating them like a hotel before ordering me into the back garden to mow the lawn. At least being back here, things seemed more normal, and my temper calmed. I could forget Tom. Eventually. Hopefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far so good, keeping up with updates regularly. Hopefully, I don't flop now *touch wood* ^^


	4. Some Place to Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I replied to everyone's comments, I think. I'm not quite used to how AO3 works fully, so forgive my blips. Thanks for the encouragement, and I hope I answered any queries you had. Others, feel free to drop a question or critique in the comments, I don't bite ^^

Humiliated, and embarrassed, and awkward. That's how I felt standing on his doorstep and 9:00 at night, hoping for a favour. I stood there for ages, far too long to the nosy neighbours watching me from behind their curtains. I could have gone to the Leaky Cauldron, they'd put me up for the night, but I had no way to get there. And it was easy to get here. I felt eyes on me as I waited for my knuckles to touch the door, and thought back on the events that brought me here.

When Marge first arrived, it wasn't too bad. Snide comments and not talking to me, but manageable. Then she started bad mouthing my parents. True, I never knew them, was never given the chance, but they were good people. I made her wine glass explode when my temper got too much to control. With my permission form for Hogsmead being held ransom, I tried to do a better job. But she's too much for anyone, Marge could make a nun swear. So now she was floating around above me, shrill voice calling for help, but from here she could have been a loud hot air balloon.

So I was thrown out and needed a place to stay for tonight before I wrote a letter to Dumbledore. Now I needed Tom's help, but would he help me after how I've ignored him these past 3 weeks. Only one way to know. I just had to pull out my courage and knock on his door. He yelled from the other side of the door, a command to leave, the kind only masochists ignored. I begged him to hear me out before sending me away. Footsteps got louder and the lock moved before I saw him at the door. His trademark shirt was open, and his creamy pale chest was out. I tried not to lick my lips or anything else creepy.

"Harry. What are you doing here at this time of night?" He gaped, "and why have you got a trunk and an owl?"

"I got kicked out, I'm so sorry but I don't know where else to go. I need tonight, then I'll sort something else out for the rest of summer. Please, I've got nowhere else. Please, Tom."

He nodded rapidly as he moved aside for me to drag my trunk and owl into his house. I was about to ask if I needed to ask his parents for permission when he took my trunk from me and started to carry it up the stairs. I followed up with Hedwig. He placed my trunk at the bottom of what I thought was his bed and invited me to set Hedwig's cage on his desk. I felt awkward with his hospitality, as he was just as sweet as before I flipped and started to ignore him. My eyes left the monochrome of the floor for the green bedsheets of his double bed and noticed there was only green in his room. Different shades, but all green. His favourite colour.

"Do you want to talk about why you've been kicked out?" I shook my head. "Okay, how about why you walked out of here the other month so suddenly?"

Heat rose to my face. I blushed and looked away, commenting on how nice his room was to avoid having to answer him. He just nodded, not looking at me, and I could tell he was frustrated. And that bothered me. I didn't want him to be off with me, the thought alone frustrated me. It sat weirdly on my stomach and made me feel a little sick. Like how I'd imagine a dog feels when it shows you those sad eyes after you yell at it. Great, I'd become his dog in the space of a few weeks, after seeing him twice. How sad am I?

"Look, I accidentally inflated my aunt Marge, and my uncle got really pissed. I managed to pack my trunk and grab Hedwig before he stopped trying to avoid her floating off. Then came and yelled at me, so I threatened him and left. I guess I'm not allowed to use magic now since I've probably just been expelled from school. Fuck."

I sat on the floor, my back against a wall, and just hugged my knees. I knelt my head against them and tried not to cry. I tried to curl in on myself, make myself smaller so the fear and panic of the unknown were smaller too. Didn't work so well. How could I be so stupid, I hadn't even thought to the consequences I'd face until now. I sobbed as quietly as was possible, but the movement in my shoulders must have given me away. I felt his hand on my hair and rubbed against it. I really was his dog. He shifted down next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Somehow, being close to him was calming, I felt that connection to him throb stronger. I didn't dare face him, otherwise, I felt like I might kiss him. And that would spoil everything.

"Tell me about your relatives," Tom asked curiously. "I mean they must be pretty special for you to cry over losing them like this."

I couldn't help laughing, fully throwing my head back in laughter. "I'm happy as hell to be free of those pricks. All they do is neglect and abuse me. I do all the housework for them, they don't feed me properly and I can't remember a day when they haven't called me a freak or put me down for being magical. I'm crying cos I'm scared. I've never been alone, and now I need to find somewhere to stay and find a job to get by. I'm becoming an adult at 13."

I looked over at him and stared. There was a hardness to his eyes, a darkness I hadn't seen in him before, that both scared and excited me. He shook his head, and he closed his eyes. When they opened again they were warmer, like normal. It was scary to have a mood shift like that, too unpredictable.

"Sorry, I just know what that's like is all." Tom shifted, for once uncomfortable. "My mother died giving birth to me, and my dad left her when he found out she was pregnant. Most of my life has been around muggles like that, either because they were scared of the things I could do or jealous that they weren't special. It's just these past few months, with Jackie and Malcolm, that I've had a healthy environment. So I get it, I get that elation being away from them."

My lips were parted, and I wondered at him. My heart started to beat strangely fast, and I just stared at his lips. Why did I want him so badly, it couldn't be normal. I was only 13 years old, and this was the third time I'd even spoken to him, but I honestly felt like I never wanted to be without him. What was up with that? It couldn't be normal for me to be acting like a 16-year-old girl, like the ones that threw themselves at Lockhart last year.

"What? Is there something on my chin?"

I looked away, mentally scolding myself for being so obvious. I faked a yawn, asking where I'd be staying tonight. He offered to make a bed on the floor for himself if I was uncomfortable sharing the double with him. I probably shouldn't want that, because we're both guys, I was 13 but also because I realised he wasn't interested the last time we spoke, but I did. I shrugged and headed over to the bed. He warned me that he slept shirtless and I blushed again. I thought for a moment he was doing it on purpose, but I couldn't reason why, so I thought I was misreading it. He was warning me so I wasn't taken by surprise. I shrugged and dug around my trunk for the long T-shirt and sweatpants I normally sleep in. But the sweatpants weren't there. One half of my current security blanket was missing, but I just had to put up with it. I put my T-shirt on before I removed my trousers and folded my things back into my trunk.

"You have lovely legs."

I crawled under the sheets, pretending I didn't hear his whispered words and closed my eyes to feign sleeping. Turns out I didn't need to fake it for long, and I was sleeping restfully moments later. After a while, I felt warmer, pleasantly warmer, and curled towards the heat. It embraced me, and I felt safe. Away from my cold, friendless, lonely existence, this strange new warmth made that crap go away, and it helped me sleep better than I had in so long.

**_ ~o0o~ _ **

It was unusual for Tom to allow this behaviour. He didn't like people getting close to him, and from what Narcissa Malfoy had told him of his older self that hadn't changed. But there was something about Harry's sadness that called for his comfort, and he hadn't realised he'd answered that call until he felt his ass on the floor and Harry's breath over his chest. Being close to Harry was different somehow, more acceptable. Like it would almost be wrong for him not to be close to the boy. And after figuring out Harry's attraction to his lips, what could Tom do other than tease the boy a little. He just didn't anticipate Harry's nightwear or the pale little legs that looked soft enough to touch. Who could blame him for rushing through a note to the Malfoys so he could climb in beside Harry?

His little frame had clung to Tom, who could only hold him closer. He was warm, and whatever strange magic was binding them was getting stronger with each moment Tom stayed close to him. He made a mental note to look through old tomes to figure out what that was. He didn't like not having control of his magic, he didn't like not having control of his thoughts either. It took a while to get to sleep, dirty thoughts aside, because he was not being used to another person in his bed, whether Harry made him feel calm or not. That thought made him shiver.  _Harry made him feel..._ He'd need to keep a lid on that, and not allow himself to get carried off. Again.

_**~o0o~** _

My eyes fluttered open, and I was alone, curled around a pillow. My face was buried in it, and the way it smelt was different, musky and sweet. Heavenly. As I woke myself with a stretch, I slumped out of bed and looked in confusion at the unfamiliar room. I needed a second to catch up and remember I was in Tom's bedroom. I found a pen and scrap piece of paper from his desk and scribbled a note to Dumbledore explaining what happened and where I'd gone. I gave Hedwig a chance to stretch before she flew out to deliver it.

I rushed downstairs, reaching the bottom before I realised my legs were bare and his parents might see me. An underage boy wearing just a T-shirt over underwear and coming from their son's bedroom might send the wrong message. But there was a cry of pain from the kitchen, so I moved quickly without thinking. Tom was cradling a burnt hand, bacon burning in a pan on his stove, and he looked ready to murder it. I couldn't help laughing, boarding on crying, as he just looked confused.

"If the pig wasn't already dead, that glare would have done the trick." I grinned, "and that bacon is screwed. If you have any left, I can do it. You should heal your hand, your wand's on your bedside table."

I shifted him away from the stove, to prevent further injuries. He moved willingly and nodded towards the bacon on the side before retreating up the stairs. By the time he was back down, I'd made enough bacon for the both of us and a couple of pancakes for Tom. I just got this feeling he liked them. I served him with a smile and went back to my own pancakes. I hummed while I cooked, nodding and swaying to my own tune. I rarely got moments to enjoy cooking, but cooking for Tom was fun. Pressure-free.

"Dinner and a show," he smirked. "You know, I wanted to make you breakfast because you had a bad night, but you're cooking won't kill us, so I guess this is best."

"I do all the cooking at the Dursleys, so I'm pretty good by this point."

His eyes glimmered mischievously, "You can stay, as long as you like, and all the cupboards are stocked constantly. You can cook and bake anything you want, whatever you want, I just need you to answer the one question I'm dying to ask. Honestly."

"Okay, counter offer, I'll stay here until you leave, then you'll take me with you. And the cupboards will stay stocked forever and ever. Deal?"

"Deal, too easy a deal," Tom grinned. "Why did you run off a month ago?"

I glared. He was pushing a button I'd already warned him off, but it was easy to choose. For whatever reason, whether it be my lack of common sense, or something else wrong with me, I hated being away from him. Platonically or not, I needed to be around him, he just made me feel better than I ever had, and I was basically being offered forever. So why shouldn't I take it? It's what I want and he's willingly offering, it's not my fault if he's not going to like my answer, or me after a few weeks of the clinginess I know is coming.

"Well, I mentioned admiring your ass, and you looked stunned. Then when I thought you were thinking it over, you looked at my scar. I assumed you'd be looking at my scar as my fame and weighing up the benefits I could bring you. It's how others see me. Don't take offence to that, I'm just saying."

Tom nodded. I tried to stop myself from having to further our conversation by taking his empty plate and placing it in the sink. He moved me aside and offered to clean because I'd cooked. I relented, and he filled the sink. It was cute to watch him do it the muggle way. I liked it.

"Maybe I did, but I'm quite sure it wasn't how you're thinking about it." I had to look away from him. "It did stun me when you said that, but I was flattered. I never thought you'd see me that way. I assumed you were straight, as nothing has been in the gossip pages. And while the idea of being with another man is interesting, it's not something I know if I could be into. And because of that, I don't want to lead you on, not when I know there must be many out there who do know what they want and want you." A soapy hand raised my head to meet his eyes. "But don't get me wrong, the interest is there and if you were a bit older I'd want to test it, but I won't take advantage of you. That's never happened to me before, I always take advantage of a weakness when I see it, so don't squander it."

There was a tapping at the window, and Hedwig was back. A reply from Dumbledore in her beak.


	5. Plans

"I'm sorry, that'll be Professor Dumbledore," I breathed. "I should get it."

He released my chin, though he looked like it both pained and angered him strangely, and I went to open the window for Hedwig. She perched on one of his dining chairs while I took the note from her. Dumbledore had apparently sorted things out with the ministry. I could go back to Hogwarts in September, Cornelius wishing me luck for my courses, and he'd sorted things out with the Dursleys so I could go 'home'. Handy memory charms, he said. He also advised me to stay indoors at night and avoid being alone in the daytime but didn't give a reason for the request. Fucking Mr Cryptic, it was really starting to get to me now.

"Everything's sorted, I don't have to stay with you."

Tom magically dried all the plates and came to stand by me. He acknowledged that if I wanted to go back I could, but that I had the choice to stay with him. Choice, I liked that, it was different. Politely I declined, as I didn't need Dumbledore on my back and I had left some things on Privet Drive in my haste to leave. Tom asked if I was scared to disobey Dumbledore, which I scoff at before I thought about it. I was in a way, all his warnings are for a reason, and I always get hurt when I ignore them, but of him in general, no. I'd had worse things after me. I tried to ignore his hints, for the time being, they were far too cryptic anyway. But I didn't want to leave Tom.

"Then we'll hang out, you're only a couple of streets away." He smiled easily, "besides, we made a deal, so you can come back whenever."

I turned to answer that, reminding him that if Dumbledore wanted me with the Dursleys, I'd have to stay there if I'd didn't want to face an inquisition. But then his lips were pressed against mine, and after the millisecond it took to get over the shock, I started to kiss back. When I felt his body shift away, I moved with him. I somehow deepened our kiss and had him pressed against a kitchen counter. All in all, not bad for a first-timer. But then I was pushed back roughly, his hips pinning mine to a wall, and his tongue sliding over my bottom lip. I welcomed him in, giving him dominance so I could focus my attention on grabbing his hair and feeling it between my fingers. Silky.

My toes curled and I groaned, I'd never felt passion but it sure was something. If this was him taking advantage, he could have it. I felt his magic caressing mine, like his fingers brushing my cheeks, and I was half certain my magic may have been out of control as well. There was something between us, a magical connection I couldn't begin to understand, but I didn't care. 13 or not, I wanted him in ways that were scary and new to me, but I wouldn't let fear stop me, I never had. This was what I wanted.

But all too soon, he moved away from me, leaving me panting against the wall. His eyes were darker, and there was a more prominent shape in the front of his jeans that made my cheeks burst with colour. It was so hot knowing I affected him too, that it wasn't just me. It went both ways.

"Guess this answers my hesitations of whether I'd want to actually take another man to bed," he joked. His eyes were like melted chocolate and made my mouth water. "But I shouldn't have done that, you're only 13 years old, and for wizards, I'm an adult."

"I don't care," I started.

"But you will. Maybe not while I'm kissing you, or worse, or just after. But you'll grow to resent being this close to me. It was similar in my parent's relationship, my mother took advantage of my father's weakness, and he left her first chance he had. I don't want to be a part of something like that."

"How can I convince you that you're not taking advantage of me? What do I need to do to show you I'm serious about this?"

He thought, for a rather long time he just thought. I missed his body heat, but when I moved closer he moved away, like repelling magnets. It fucking sucked.

"I'm the first person you've ever looked at in interest right?" I nodded. "While I find that flattering, I think it makes you naive. I want you to be able to go back to school in two weeks and not be looking at the other boys that you want but can't have because of me. So go, look around, 'play the field' I think they say. Maybe kiss someone or two, because if you don't get those same sensations with someone else, then I'll be able to tell myself you're less innocent and I'm not corrupting you."

It was a reasonable plan, one I thought was pointless, but reasonable all the same. If I wanted to prove I wasn't too immature to handle a relationship with him then I needed to act more grown up. So I agreed to his plan, so long as he waited for me, and didn't shack up with someone else while I wasn't there. That made his lips smile, but his eyes frown, as he assured me he was in new terrain. That he'd never felt compelled to someone before, and he had this need for me that was entirely foreign to him, and if he was entirely honest then it wasn't something he wanted to be feeling. Like me.

"Now, I say you stay here until lunch, we'll talk and maybe kiss again, then I'll walk you home." Tom smirked, "I want to charm your relatives."

I liked this plan. We moved over to their couch in the living room and he laid me down. I let him lead, though I got his hint that he was unbelievably as inexperienced as I was, so he covered my body with his own longer one and kissed me again. His plan had to be pointless. If kissing was always this fucking good, nobody would do anything else. People would be permanently attached by the mouth. I couldn't just be feeling this tingly from innocents surely. My inexperience made everything so confusing now he'd made me ask these questions. Why couldn't he stop being honourable and let me make my own decision?

We only stopped kissing when my belly rumbled, long enough to eat before starting again. Then there wasn't much kissing when he thought of a question to ask me, or if I wanted to know something about him, but answers were hastily given to shorten that time. Once or twice I felt his hands brush against my exposed legs before he controlled himself again. We didn't kiss as he was walking me home. We had a short argument on public displays of affection before I just grabbed his hand and tugged. Who was gonna see us that shouldn't? It was the same old, short walk that I was used to, but there was the added enjoyment of getting to know Tom better. The one perk of not constantly kissing I suppose. He explained Dumbledore's unease over where I spent my nights because a killer was on the loose. Tom didn't think much to Sirius Black. If everything people had said about him was true, then he was, of course, dangerous. But after receiving no trial, and no evidence other than easily manipulated muggle witnesses, Tom didn't think he was guilty. He thought he was a cover-up or something. It was certainly an exciting and intelligent theory. Tom was very intelligent.

He was also always right, as he charmed Aunt Petunia immediately by preventing me from crushing some new plant she's just put in the front garden and scolding me to be more careful. And after complimenting the home and car, Uncle Vernon seemed to like him somewhat too. Not surprising, when you consider they thought he was an ordinary muggle like them. Parting with him after being together all day was so tough, nothing had ever come close to it. It was the strangest feeling, like something right in the core of my being was begging to stay close to him, like begging to stay in the safety of home. But there was enough rational thought in me to ignore it, we'd known each other for practically a month. How was it possible to be so connected to him? To feel so...obsessed? I must have been going crazy, like the girls who trap their boyfriends with babies to keep them from leaving. Maybe going back to Hogwarts would be good, distance aids perspective, and the whole 'play-the-field' thing would too. It'll hopefully prove I'm not crazy, just in love. But isn't it crazy to be so in love after a month? It was too much to think about without sleep. I just hoped my levels of crazy would stay down over the coming weeks, so I could enter Hogwarts sane enough to last the year without Tom.

There was a letter waiting on my bed, addressed to me in the scrawl of Ron Weasley. It was pretty long, which was stupid considering it was an apology for the distance after his sister's death and a question of where we were meeting Hermione to get on the train together. I didn't even want to dignify him with a reply. I knew this would be Dumbledore's doing, trying to make sure I still have friends so I don't end up alone, or easily manipulated by the wrong people. Ron didn't really want to be my friend, neither did Hermione, so I'd cut them loose. Ron's letter fell into the bin as I started a letter to Neville Longbottom, one of my dorm mates who I wish I'd bothered to know better. Spending all my time with Ron meant I didn't talk to others much, but Neville was always nice. Best-friend material to me. I arranged to meet him on the platform, so we could catch up on the train, and he sent his acceptance a few days later. I might not have my old friends, or Tom this year at Hogwarts, but that's not what makes it fun. It's making new friends and learning interesting things, hopefully without added surprises like my previous years there. Who am I kidding, something will go wrong. I just hope Neville can keep up better than the last two, and not bail out like a dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So do I Harry, but I have a feelng Neville will handle everything perfectly. *hint hint* ;)
> 
> I know, short chapter, but this was really just to set up Harry's third year. It'll only be big points of change and important moments, rather than writing through the whole year, then chapter 7 will probably be just after. Hopefully. If life goes how I tell it to, cos I haven't planned this through. Can you tell? ;)


	6. Strange Third Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Important points of third year, changes and that. Brief because a year is a long time and ain't nobody got time for that.

I was right. I may not be a know-it-all like Hermione Granger, but I knew this year wouldn't be normal. I must be cursed, doomed to always fight for my life every year, without fail. I mean, it wasn't all bad, I'd say this year was the best by far, and I'm so much happier now, but if some ratty man tried to kill you in the middle of a lesson, you'd be a bit bitter too.

The year kicked off well, I called Ron out publicly for ignoring me and blaming me for his sister all summer, only to jump up my ass the minute we got back. He didn't say another word to me, and Hermione followed his lead, but that didn't matter to anyone else. Neville became my new best friend, a better one too actually. He told me about his mum and dad, how they were tortured to insanity by some LeStrange bitch, and I found out his birthday is July too, the day before mine. We were much more similar than I'd realised. And he had my back all year, even defending me against Malfoy for the first 4 months, which was unexpected, before he backed off mysteriously. He refocused on Ron all of a sudden, not that I minded much. And he was the one that saved me in Transfiguration against that man before McGonagall could understand what was happening. Ron would never have done something like that for me, not sure if he even could.

After sneaking out to Hogsmeade, I found out that the Sirius Black guy Tom told me about was the reason my parents died. He'd told Voldemort where to find them that night. It was horrifying, and without Neville to calm my anger, I'd have probably gone after the bastard there and then. Why wait for the Dementors to take my revenge? But then Professor Lupin told me he's my godfather, as they were both my dad's best friends, and innocent because this Peter Pettigrew framed him. Sirius would never have hurt my parents. That ratty asshole was the one who got my parents killed and faked his death as murder to Sirius for both so he could get away. Then trying to kill me. Guess this is one thing I should thank Ron for, his crap hand-me-down wand can't do magic properly.

Professor McGonagall wanted to recap turning our familiars into water goblets the first Transfiguration lesson back, as that lesson was put off last year to talk about the Chamber of Secrets. I was flushed with excitement after Tom taught me this during summer when he tried to give me a headstart for the year. I hadn't actually done it, but he helped me understand the theory of it, which is the hard part for me usually. I was first to finish, even against Hermione, to make Hedwig a platinum goblet. The selfish wench looked bitter and envious, which made Ron want to be her shining hero, and screwed up whatever spell he was casting before it hit Scabbers. Whatever he did wrong turned Scabbers into a man. A filthy, poorly-dressed and twitchy little man, perched on his desk. McGonagall mumbled his name, and Pettigrew snapped. He spotted me in his panic, and he leapt across the room to grab at me. His fingers clenched over my throat, and if it wasn't for Neville tackling him I could have died. After catching the monster and interrogating him, the Aurors found out the truth and Sirius was absolved. After that, he was allowed to be titled my guardian, so after school, I was told I could move away from the Dursleys and in with him. But that meant away from Tom.

I did as he asked, after confiding in the twins one night during Christmas break and they both kissed me. George practically just pecked me, short and sweet, but Fred went for it, with tongue. Neither gave me the same tingles, there was bearly any tingling at all. They're like brothers to me, so I just felt weirded out mostly. They said they'd sort out a surprise, and if that didn't get me going then 'that-Tom-bloke' must really be something. Their plan was for me to go into the prefects' bathroom blindfolded and kiss this guy who was still in the closet but could work his tongue like magic, which I didn't really want to know. And that's almost what happened. Fred forgot the blindfold and sent me in any way, so I saw Cedric Diggory, Hufflepuff's Quidditch captain before he kissed me. I had already considered he was pretty good-looking, and a real sweetheart after the whole fainting thing on the Quidditch field, wanting a fair rematch. But I had no idea he was interested in guys, let alone me. I expected tingles like with Tom, he was just as gorgeous, just as nice, and I knew him about as well. And he really was good with that tongue of his, like a salsa dancer in my mouth. But the tingles weren't as strong. The passion was equal, but its effect was limited. They were definitely stronger than when I kissed the twins, but miles away from the intensity of kissing Tom.

Cedric didn't take it too bad but made me promise if things with my other 'friend' went sour, he was first in line. But currently, Tom was the one. I didn't want anyone else. Our letters had been few and far between. He wasn't at Drumstrang he'd said, but he'd decided to do some travelling while I was away, so letters took longer to deliver. He said he was doing research on other culture's magic that was frowned on in Britain. But that hardly mattered, it was almost like I could feel he was okay even across the distance, what really mattered was I'd get to see him again just before moving away with Sirius, just in case I couldn't after that. I hadn't told him about my revelation about us, I wanted to surprise him face-to-face, with an unexpected visit as soon as I left. I was going from Professor Lupin's fireplace at Hogwarts to the fireplace in Private Drive on the network, and straight to his house. My plan was to be cute and unexpected, but such a good surprise that he wouldn't stop kissing me, I just didn't plan the bump in the way.


	7. Now Official

I was practically skipping to Tom's house from good ol'Mrs Figgs, who was apparently a squib and connected to Hogwarts through Floo to Dumbledore since the Dursleys had blocked theirs. It did make her more interesting, but I couldn't stay long in her cloud of cat smell so I left pretty quickly. I was so excited to see him again, desperate to tell him how I'd try to find someone else, and how I knew he was the man for me. Maybe he let us go further when he knew, let his hands wander more. I'd let him, I may be young but I'm 14 in two weeks, and I know what I want, I want him. All he has to do is let himself take it.

It didn't take long before I was outside his house, excitement making me go faster towards the object of my need. It was too soon, of course, it was way too soon, but I honestly could feel myself fall in love with him. It was something inside me, craving him all the time, and when we were close it was happy and purring or something, and when we were apart it nearly consumed me. I think I nearly failed my end of year exams because I just couldn't stop thinking about him and all he taught me during the summer that was on my exams. I was mental, a creepy stalker, but couldn't push myself to care. There was definitely something up with me...

When I reached his door, I wondered whether or not to knock, as I was here way before he expected me and I could surprise him better by not knocking, but would I be breaching his privacy or something? My need to surprise him won over, and I snuck through the front door. My heart was beating like a drum and I was so looking forward to seeing him, but I moved slow, and ever so slightly peaked my head around to look for him in his living room.

He was sat in one of the chairs, facing the window so I could see him. He wasn't being blocked by the blonde rubbing his shoulders. Tall, beautiful, but old enough to be his mother, with her hands massaging him how I couldn't do due to 'innocence'. His eyes were closed in pleasure. It wasn't his foster mother, her wedding photo was right next to my head. She scolded him for being tense, saying he should relax more. He shrugged, blaming worrying about whether or not he'd enchanted me enough to be with him. _**Enchanted**_. I fucking knew it, there was something magical about how much I wanted him. It wasn't just that I was crazy.

I got out of there as fast as I could. I didn't want to talk to him or look at him. I was enraged and my soul felt like it was bleeding. The front door slammed behind me, so he'd know I walked in, he'd know I'd heard him. But I never wanted to see him again, cos I didn't want him knowing he'd broken my heart. He wouldn't have that power over me. I couldn't even reach the Dursleys' before the waterfalls started. I was incredibly lucky only Dudley was home, sat in the living room looking confused as I raced up the stairs. I hid in my room, howling in my pain, wanting to be as small as I could in the hope the pain would shrink too. Dudley came in once, looking terrified at me, curled into the fetal position crying my eyes out, but complained it was freezing and left. I was grateful, I wanted to be on my own.

How could he do this to me? He said he'd wait, and he's getting rubbed up by some cougar. What the fuck? What did I do to make him change his mind, or say for him to think this was okay? Hopefully, his little charm on me will wear off, so I can stop hurting. I just want to stop hurting.

Dumbledore arrived, stunning me into not crying for a few minutes, long enough for him to explain my magic was going out of control again and I was casting a freezing charm around the room and creating a personal earthquake. Sirius came with him, holding me so I could cry on his shoulder so everything stopped. I explained the basics of what had happened, that I'd met someone last summer, and had been scarily obsessed with him the whole time, and I'd just seen him with some woman saying he'd enchanted me. This worried them, and Dumbledore started his fancy wand waving, but nothing really bad came up. I begged Sirius to get us moving. He looked ashamed for a moment and explained that his house wouldn't be habitable for a week or so, but with the ministry's help, it should only be a week.

"That's okay, but I want to stay inside so I don't run into him," I sobbed. "Could you get that sorted?"

Sirius nodded, but Dumbledore was shaking his head. Why can't I ask this one simple thing from him? That asshole. Sirius promised that he'd stop by every day, give me someone to talk to so I'm not bored and keep my relatives from annoying me. It was definitely a comfort for the next day, as Tom came knocking. Dudley answered, but lied about me being there.

"He's already moved, he said he went to tell you yesterday, but you had company so he left."

I would have enjoyed seeing Tom's face at being found out, but even thinking of how gorgeous he was made my whole body ache. I just wanted the stupid spell to wear off, as apparently Dumbledore couldn't find anything to fix. Idiot. My dislike for the man was growing catastrophically, it was a struggle not to hex him on sight. It was hard not to hurt everyone around me, massacre them in insanity. Having Sirius around over the next five days kept me sane though, and he kept his word on stopping my aunt and uncle from bothering me. But on my last day in Surrey, he needed to help out at his house, so I was left alone.

Dudley was pacing, mumbling something about crazy and murder. And I thought I was in a bad way. He saw me head downstairs and begged me to deliver a letter for him, not far away, but he was desperate. He explained he wanted to break up with this girl, Gordan's sister, but if she caught him she'd kill him, and if Gordan caught him he'd kill him. It was a lose-lose situation for him, but I could just walk away.

I agreed because he'd helped me out with Tom before, without really being asked, and I was bored on my own. He gratefully gave me the letter, and luckily the house was nowhere near Tom's. With my luck, he'll still find me. Oh shit, did I jinx myself? Superstitious or not, I got worried and ran there, but faced no problems as the letter went through the letterbox. I relaxed as I turned to head back up the road. Until I noticed Tom leaning against the wall at the top of the street. Goddamnit, why did I have to jinx it?

He came towards me, all his features eerily calm but his eyes furious. I was sure in trouble, but what the hell for? He was the one MILFing it up, why was he pissed at me? Dick.

"Look, I'm pissed, but I don't want to argue and lose your friendship." He scowled, "but why didn't you at least tell me you'd found someone else? I wouldn't have acted like an ass, though I can't say the same for you right now."

I was stunned, I couldn't figure out how to react to something like that. I started laughing, a little giggle that morphed into manic cackling, blended with crying. He looked alarmed, clearly not expecting my sanity to snap on him like that. But I couldn't help it, I was stuck between hunched over laughing and on my knees crying.

"You're gonna blame you're guilty conscience on me? Really?" I gaped, "I go round your place and see you being rubbed up by a cougar, and I'm the one who found someone else?"

I shoved past his stunned frame and carried on home. Reminding myself of his treachery tipped my emotional scale, and I hugged myself to keep from crying. Now I'd seen him, I expected closure, but I couldn't tell if I had it past all my pain. It would clearly be too much to ask that he would leave me alone, so his grip on my shoulder didn't surprise me as such.

"Wait, are you talking about Narcissa? She's a friend, basically, like my mother, she was comforting me because I was stressed over what was happening with you."

"Oh yeah, that too." I glared, shaking his hand off me. "Guess you didn't 'enchant' me enough, huh? I have been locked in my bedroom curled in the fetal position, crying my fucking eyes out over how much you acting like a dick hurts me because you've put some magic charm on me or something."

"Hold it right there, I haven't done anything. You're the one who started this, not me," he frowned. "I haven't done anything to you. You want me because you like me, and you're hurting because you like me. And I'm guessing that means you didn't find someone you like more than me."

I was babbling obscenities at him, trying to move away, but he wrapped his arms around my waist and kept holding. I looked up at him, and he brushed the tears from my cheek. His chocolate brown eyes are so beautiful. Though public affection isn't his thing, he kissed me in the middle of the street, asking to be forgiven for allowing a woman I didn't know for touching him when I wasn't around. The pain left me in an instant, leaving at the kiss as quick as it came at the sight of him with 'Narcissa'.

"What kind of name is Narcissa?" I grumbled.

He laughed, arms tightening. Apparently, she was a pureblood, and she would have been his foster mother if she didn't already have a child around. Narcissa, as in Narcissa Malfoy. Oh wow, but I guess there are similarities now I'm looking for them, it's just Malfoy looks more like his dad. Tom asked if I was feeling better, sounding amused as he brought up the cry-laughing like a lunatic. I blushed. He said it was sexy, that crazy was his type so he didn't mind. That was comforting, cos I felt like a psycho concerning him. He just grinned.

"I mean it," I giggled, heading back to my cousin to convey the good news. "I feel crazy like I'd steal some of your hair to keep in a locket I'd never take off, just to feel close to you."

We kept up our cheeky banter all the way home and ran into Sirius when we got there, who came to move me a day early. I introduced Tom and cleared up the mess concerning being under a spell. Sirius just laughed, saying we were more dramatic and rocky than my parents in their early stages. Tom kissed my forehead and promised to visit me every chance he got and write to me every day of the summer, before travelling some more when my school year starts. He promised to be there for me because I'd proved to him that I was serious, so now we were serious. We were in a relationship, I couldn't go kissing boys around the school and there'd be no women rubbing his shoulders. It was everything I wanted to hear. I didn't know how the distance was going to affect me, but we were solid, and he was all I felt like I needed.


	8. Summer Lovin'

It was brilliant, I finally had this sense of security and a place I was happy to call my home. Sirius was a great father figure, I felt comfortable with him, we could talk about everything and if I ever needed anything he wanted to help. I mean, he wasn't perfect. He was really immature and acted like a child quite often, but Professor Lupin was always coming by to catch up with his best friend now he'd been cleared and straightening him out. He had a calming effect on people, not just my godfather, because he was such a mellow person in general. His calming aura got me too.

Tom wrote to me every day, and each one mentioned how he'd missed me. His first letter came with a lock of his hair, which made me laugh to the point of tears, and a request to send back a lock of mine. Once I sent my letter and lock with Hedwig, I went to go ask Sirius if he had a locket for me to put it in. He said they'd found an heirloom in Kreacher's bed basket, which he gave me. I couldn't get it open at first, Sirius couldn't unjam the clasp and neither could Remus, but when I was back in my room I noticed the beautiful intricate snake in the shape of an 'S'. Maybe S for Slytherin, like the Chamber of Secrets. I hissed out a word in Parseltongue and it clicked open, so I hid the hair inside and put it on. And I felt so much better. I did feel closer to him.

Between getting to know my father's best friends and writing letters to my boyfriend, I took the time to hang out with Neville more. We hung out at my place, and his place, and went shopping in Diagon Alley quite often. Instead of celebrating my birthday on the 31st, I'd celebrate a day early with Neville on his birthday. Sirius thought it was cute and fully agreed quickly. We went out shopping for food and drink the day before so we could have a mini party and I bought him three books on Herbology from Whizz Hard Books and a set of navy robes from Twilfitt and Tatting's, for his favourite colour. He bought me a Quidditch ball set and enough sweets to give me diabetes, as well as a set of pretty green robes he said matched my eyes. Tom would like them. We were sat in Rosa Lee Teabag taking a break for lunch and the Weasleys must have walked passed because Fred and George walked in and sat with us. They were telling us about Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, a joke shop they wanted to open and all the pranks they'd thought of and which ones had worked.

"Well, once you've left school, and your business plans are straight, I wouldn't mind being an investor in that." Neville smiled.

Harry agreed, "I've been left more money than I can spend, so I'll just second that statement."

They hugged us and were heading off to grab school supplies with their mum when Ron came in and joined us too. He was being friendly and social with me, and even the twins were looking at him like he was being a dick. After a minute I couldn't take it and reminded him how he didn't like me so he should leave me to enjoy my day with Neville and chat with his brothers. Neville backed me, telling him to just leave without there being a scene, though it didn't look like he was going to.

"Yeah, runoff before all the lanky-wanker, second-hand robes are taken and you'll be stuck with ill-fitting ones. Again."

Everyone turned to Malfoy as he walked passed to the counter, and I couldn't stop myself from laughing, Neville and the twins joining in quietly as Ron stropped out. Malfoy walked back past with a takeaway cup and tilted his head in my direction, asking me not mention how I met his mum to his dad, cos he gets funny over Tom. He left with a shrug and waved to me and Neville as he went. It was strangely friendly. Well, Tom is friends with his mum, so maybe I should try to be friends with him. The twins went and I was left with Neville again, and he spoke before I could.

"Hey, do you ever get these feelings, or these thoughts, about... hurting someone." He started, "because I wish I didn't, or that my thoughts were justified, but I just have this sort of aggressive nature. I know, I don't look it, but I can always feel it. And it's even like that in relationships. Apparently, I'm really rough with them, but I don't even realise it. Honestly, Harry, I'm so worried. What if I'm mental or a danger to society or-"

"It's not just you Nev, I'm like that. I'm scarily obsessive with Tom." I admitted to stop him rambling, "he's even sent me a lock of his hair to keep with me as a joke, and I'm actually wearing around my neck right now. It helps me stay close to him, even though I'm going back to school soon, and he's going travelling. Together in spirit or something."

Neville tried to express interest, asking where to and why, but I had no idea. It wasn't something I really cared about, as long as he came back to me. He could honestly be going to some remote country to kill a load of people, and I'd still be crazy about him. I shouldn't admit that to Neville but in the spirit of the conversation, I opened up to him. He thanked me for the reassurance that he wasn't strange, or that he wasn't the only strange person, and we promised to never tell anyone. Nobody else would understand, as we were Gryffindors, and we were supposed to be brave and noble, shiny white not slightly dark.

We enjoyed the rest of our day, and our strange birthday party the day after. He got loads of cool things, magical and muggle, and the best thing I had was an adorable polaroid camera from Remus. Tom couldn't see me as he left for somewhere in Brazil early, but he sent me a letter with a lipstick kiss and I loved the image of him in red lipstick. He was being so sweet, being so cute, and I honestly wrote back admitting I loved him. The high had lasted all night, clouding my sanity so I couldn't have stopped myself smelling the lock of his hair and touching myself if I'd wanted to.

I was worried he wouldn't answer, that he'd put it off for a week and send back an awkward letter about it being too soon, but his reply was waiting when I woke up before heading to Hogwarts. He admitted he'd never been in love, but that from what he knows of it he'd say he's fallen just as deep as me. He warned me that I had no idea how bad this was for him, because nobody had ever had this kind of power over him, and he didn't want me to abuse it. I wrote back to promise I never would, to tell him just how bad he had me under his thumb, that he could secretly be a serial killer or something and I still wouldn't be about to push myself to leave him. He thought I had power, but we've seen me go crazy over a little bump, he had the power to make me as batty as You-Know-Who. He answered exactly just before I left, and said the next time we saw each other, he'd explain all the things it was hard to say in letters, and never let me go again. And I wondered when he'd see me again because it honestly couldn't be soon enough for me.

_**~o0o~** _

Tom walked through the bleak streets, marvelling at how things were still the same after half a century. He was more sluggish than he was willing to admit, after dreams of his Harry all night. He had the most vivid dreams, almost as if he was living them himself, of what lies between pale thighs and a scent he knew to be his own flushing his senses. It was almost like he was in his Harry's mind, watching and feeling him touch himself thinking of Tom, and moaning dirty things about what he'd want to happen to him. But he couldn't be in Harry's mind, not from so far away. It wasn't possible.

He walked up the garden path, breaking through whatever pathetic wards were placed, and shivered at the one changed house in the village. Tom knew the place, had only seen it once, but after the fun he'd had that night, he wouldn't forget. Breaking out from the shackles of a family holding him back with their existence. It would be something he'd recommend to Harry, to really free him of his awful relatives. Harry and Tom were so similar, yet neither knew how deeply. Tom had admitted his feelings, showing trust he almost couldn't bare. The plan had been cold, unfeeling and fake. But now he felt warm, feelings freed that disgusted him, or would have if Harry hadn't returned them. He may not return them if the truth shook him as deep as Tom thought it would, but he had an unscheduled appointment before that time, where plans needed to be shaped. He pulled the lock of Harry's hair from his pocket and smelled it to calm his nerves before he walked through the aged, rusted doorway.


	9. The Tournament

Yep, it was me. No other explanation for it. Why else would every year turn so shit with my life at risk?

The tournament didn't seem like the end of the world, especially since I couldn't even enter because I was too young. Cedric entered, and sort of tried to give me the eye as he did. I paid no attention. There was a boy from Durmstrang who looked towards our table as he went, eyes on Hermione. She got flustered and batted her eyelashes, but he went and sat near Parkinson who was immediately on him. I managed to lip read 'bitch' and 'Harry'. She glared in my direction, which pissed me off as I hadn't done fuck all, but he turned to look and saw her before she could control her face. Serves her right.

Krum. Delacour. Diggory. Our three champions, before the cup started freaking out and spat my name out. Dumbledore was so confused but was trying to remain calm, quizzing me on whether or not I'd done it. Obviously not! While I stood with the champions, ignoring Cedric's advances, I asked Krum if he knew Tom. He looked at me suspiciously but declined there ever being a Tom in Durmstrang while he's been there. I thought that was incredibly odd, but it wasn't like a he was a walking-talking student record. People make mistakes, and people forget things. If Tom told me he went to Durmstrang then that's what happened. I trusted him completely. I loved him.

We wrote to each other, but he didn't seem concerned, and not because he boisterously thought I could do it. That worried me a little, I started thinking he was going off me and didn't want to tell me. I mean he helped out with the first task when I found out about the dragons, and I won on being the fastest, but I just got some vibes that he wasn't really excited and happy for me. Almost subdued. He helped me solve the second one, but he mentioned things I hadn't written in a letter, like exact wording of the clues that I know I screwed up. It didn't help my suspicions. I came second in that task, as Victor Krum moved faster underwater with the head of a shark. Neville used one of the books I'd bought him to find gillyweed, which burnt and made me uncomfortable, but he pulled through. I had to save both my 'someone special' which they got wrong as it was Ron and Fleur's, but still beat Cedric. I know he let me win, trying to in on me, but just because he didn't have a chance didn't mean I was going to stop him boosting my chances. Being in the lead gave me an advantage, and I'd already promised my winnings to Fred and George, straight to Gringotts so their parents wouldn't try to stop them living their dreams.

The night before the last task, Cedric caught me as I headed to the kitchen for a midnight snack and offered to let me win again if I gave him the chance he was looking for. This was the first verbal advance, the first time I could nail him for being a creep. I warned him off because I was still with someone and there was no way he could get between me and Tom. We were solid, even if my doubts were starting to bug me. That night I ended up having a scary Voldemort nightmare, seeing him and this man and I thought Tom. It was blurred, but I'd know him through any eyes. Then I was in that stupid maze going for the cup against Cedric, who was clearly not going to let me win for any reason. Either way, we both ran for that cup, and I thought to cheat, tripping him before we reached the cup. I turned back before my hand curled around the handle, laughing as his stunned expression and the mud on his face.

I landed in this graveyard and the cup flew away from me. It was dark and murky, unfamiliar. Too creepy and weary for me to let my guard down because I was sure this wasn't part of the trial. I walked around slowly, looking from stone to stone, but nothing seemed to stand out. I shrugged. Something wasn't right.

A dark, familiar voice spoke. "I'm glad to see you again Harry, I was worried you'd bring company."

My eyes were drawn to one point among the tombstones, and Tom walked out with the stranger in my dream. They were carrying a bundle, and whatever was in it made my scar sting, which was never a good thing. There was an ice to Tom's eyes I'd never seen, directed at nothing in particular. I didn't know what to do. Should I question why he's here, or what he's doing, or whether he knows why I'm there? Or should I stay quiet? He looked at me and smiled, his expression warming to how I've always known him, and my heart jumped. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Damn right it does.

"Hey babe, remember what I said the day you left for school?"

I blushed. He said he'd never let me go again. Finally. I walked on over to him, and he stepped forward away from the other man and embraced me. I felt him smell my hair and kiss my temple and I burrowed furthering in his arms. I'd missed his heat and his smell, all of him encasing me. Since I last saw him he's been this presence in my head, but now he had enveloped me and I loved it. I loved him. We rested our foreheads against each other, but I needed to feel his kiss. It really had been too long, for him apparently too.

"Did you find a place to keep that gift, so you could always have it with you? You never mentioned."

I grinned, pulling the locket out from under my clothes, where I always hid it, to show him how beautiful it was. His face froze, and he reached out to touch, pulling back like it gave him a shock. He asked where I'd gotten it. I told him what Sirius had told me. He nodded, the bundle in the other man's arms moving. My boyfriend's face expressed his discomfort, as he hovered the cup over, keeping it away from me but closer to him. I raised an eyebrow at the action.

"Harry, we need to talk." He frowned, "And I'm not sure whether or not you're gonna like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you look back, you'll noticed I've updated the other chapters, changing and fixing things. There have been things added, so it may be worth looking back if you want, but nothing dire to the story line. Possibly.


	10. The Truth

"Look, Harry. I want you to keep an open-mind with this, and let me finish before reacting. Okay?"

His tone frustrated me a little, he was clearly worried. As if I was going to be close-minded with him, I'd be open to everything about him. I just kept quiet, not reacting as I was sure he wasn't finished. He looked at me and the corners of his lips, probably understanding my slight sass, but feeling amused by it. He reached out to touch my face, and I leaned into his touch. The bundle squirmed in the other man's arms, and this sharp pain sparked in my scar. I fell to the floor, clutching my head and screaming. I was just aware enough to hear a voice I almost didn't recognise snarl to the bundle. I'd never heard Tom be so hard and cold. There was a rasp, but I couldn't hear it fully. The pain stopped. I felt hands on me and on instinct forced them away and sprang up to run.

Tom moved too, except he moved to block the cup from me. He was blocking my escape because he knows I know what must be in that bundle for it to hurt me so bad. I looked to face, hardened from emotions he was trying to hide, and he wasn't giving me the answer he needed. I needed him to tell me he wasn't a spy, or whatever, leading me here to die like Peter did to my parents but worse. I thought he really loved me. I straightened, closing my eyes and waiting. For him to speak, for him to move, or for someone to kill me. Eventually, he spoke.

"I've lied to you, but I think you've figured that out, and nothing serious has been a lie. My name is Tom, the story of my birth parents is true. I just don't have other parents, and I didn't go to Durmstrang." He paused, "My full name is Tom Marvolo Riddle, I grew up in 1930s London, and I grew up to become the most powerful dark wizard in history."

My eyes snapped open as he used his wand to write his name in the air with burning letters. They shuffled and became 'I AM LORD VOLDEMORT'. My breathing stopped. I was confused, I didn't understand how any of this was happening, as there were two murderers in front of me. The other man held the bundle out to Tom, who took himself[?], so the man could set out a cauldron for some ritual. He was going to use me for this, to bring back that monster that murdered my parents. He was the monster that murdered my parents.  _Wait!_

"You showed up two years ago. Near enough just as Ginny died. Tell me that wasn't you."

He looked at me, and his eyes showed no repentance. My heart couldn't take much more, but I needed answers so I braved the pain. I asked how he did it, every detail, and why he'd played around with me. Befriending me to get me here, I understood, but pretending to love me was just cruel. He looked around for a place to dump the bundle, dropping it on a rock and coming towards me. I moved back but hit a tombstone, and he caught me. He looked like he couldn't decide if he wanted to be angry or sad.

"I will admit my deception, and explain how I murdered Ginny Weasley without remorse as you requested, but don't you dare start to question how I feel for you." He whispered, almost a growl. "I'm part of Voldemort, a shard of his soul trapped in a diary for 50 years, able to gain corporeal life by taking Ginny's. She poured her thoughts into the pages and allowed me to possess her mind. The writing on the walls and victims were her, I made her do everything. I waited in the chamber for hours for you to come to get her, but you didn't, so I snuck out through the Forbidden Forest. Technically, the weakling in the blanket is my full form. You're here because I want to use your blood to combine us, so I can gain my strength and memories, while he retains sanity. Will you help?"

I didn't know what to do, or what to believe. After everything he's said, and the things I now know he's done, this is the point of no return. I could let that influence me and turn away from him. I had friends and family, Diggory was just waiting for me to take him, I didn't need Tom to cure my loneliness anymore. And I should turn away, I run away and tell Dumbledore everything because I was supposed to be this saviour and it was expected of me. But I still loved him, I wanted him desperately even now. Why?

"You've lied before, did you lie about not using magic on me?" I glared, "because everything in me is begging for me to run, but I can't. How can I still love you after hear this and be-?"

"Don't be normal, be you. Don't be the saviour they try to force you to be, be the sexy lunatic you were over Narssica. If you love me, stay with me. I told you, and you remember, I'm not letting you go. I've opened my heart to you, so you aren't going anywhere. I love you too."

Why did he have to say those words? This was the first time he'd said them to me, and hearing those words just lit the fire in me. I grabbed him tightly, kissing him with my everything, and he kissed back. It was crazy to want him, fully insane to want him now, in a creepy graveyard, after finding out he's a murder, before he uses my blood in a scary ritual. All hope of being normal was lost by this point.

He stepped away and led me over to the cauldron, and the stranger dropped something into it. I tried not to look at the bundle as it fell to the side. He dropped a crown, and a ring, and some other things. I was confused as hell. Tom explained that he needed me to go back to school after dropping my blood in the cauldron and leave the locket here. He promised to explain afterwards when I went home for summer.

"And, not that you would, but you can't tell anyone about this whole return thing. I'm keeping it a secret for now."

He cut my palm and squeezed my hand over the cauldron for a few squirts of blood. He kissed me and healed my hand so I could pick up the cup and kissed me before I went. It was chaos back at Hogwarts, everyone concerns with where I'd gone for the past hour. I made up a story about the cup taking me to a creepy graveyard, but there was nothing and no one there. I tried my best to sound calm and confused, which wasn't easy when I could feel Tom. Now I was open to him, and he was open to me, and I could feel the things he felt. I could feel water on my skin, really hot but I couldn't really feel the pain because he didn't feel it. I think. I locked him out so I could focus on the questioning. I'd need to ask him about all that. If he was the same.

If he was being combined with the older him, would he still be the same? Would he still love me like he does now? Could he be sweet and someone I could love? I wish I'd stayed with him, considering he promised not to let me go. If he's the same next time I see him, I'll insist we handcuff ourselves together. I want him forever. I was being the sexy lunatic he said was his type, I was being obsessive. And I was going to make him regret saying it.

I was shuffled around by Dumbledore a lot, but I could handle him better now I was basically his enemy. I was like a double agent, it was so fun. Maybe that's why I was sent back, to control the story and find out all the details I could before I saw him again. I was going to do this well.

I didn't trust Snape, who was have whispered conversations he thought I couldn't hear about this concerning 'You-Know-Who' rising again. He was all over Dumbledore without rushing to his supposed lord, almost as if he were putting off going. Which seemed likely. But they were the only two paranoid enough to see the truth, though neither knew I was lying. Maybe I could be a double agent, didn't seem so hard.

Neville was concerned, and I felt guilty for lying to him. I wanted him to know, to join me on the side I'd chosen, but I couldn't be sure he would stick with me so I had to keep this secret. He probably wouldn't agree with the killing and torturing of innocent people, and he didn't have love blinding him like I did. Honestly, I'd given up trying to be good, trying to fight my mind on this, and it made it easier to deal with those things.

I was left to sleep in the hospital wing before Madam Pomfrey could see to me. I let my mind open, searching for his mind wherever he was. I wanted to feel that he was okay, I wanted to feel that he was the same as when I'd left, or close enough. I wanted to know before I committed to my new life in the dark, whether or not he'd still be worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, life has stuck a knife in my chair and nobody told me before I sat on it :)  
> Will try to keep up to date with everything and have another chapter up next month at the latest.  
> (P.S remember when I aimed for a chapter or two a week :') that worked out)


	11. Strange Dreams

Something was strange. I felt awake, but I wasn't in the hospital wing. I wasn't anywhere, it was just shadows and smoke, but I felt like I wasn't alone. I looked around to see nothing but me. No furniture, no decorations, no people.  _What the fuck is going on?_

"I can tell you'll try my patience. Bearly left me for 2 hours and you're already questioning my commitment?"

I heard his voice ringing around the room, and his voice hadn't changed. The same baritone sexiness, but the tone was more stern and sharp. Like he was angry with me. I was terrified that the evil, crazy him had taken hold and this was a trap to kill me. A chuckle rippled through the room.

"I'm sorry," his tone was softer. "I shouldn't be so sharp with you, considering how our pasts are entwined. I'll try to lengthen my fuse with you."

The smoke shaped around me and became a silk covered bed, the kind you'd fantasise squirming around on naked just to feel it all over your skin. Maybe that was his intention, which wasn't a bad thing, considering I thought he wanted to kill me.

Like lightning, one moment I had clothes and the next I didn't. Before I could breathe, there were arms around my waist, hands on my stomach pressing me against a firm front. He was taller than before, it felt.

"I love that idea you had, I want to watch you rub your body over these sheets."

He pushed me down, and my mind was running everywhere. I turned to look back at him and gasped. He looked older, his early 20s, but no less gorgeous. Nothing else had really changed so much. Even the way he looked at me was warm, albeit lustful. The silk did feel good, so I rolled onto my back and started to squirm around. His eyes trailed down my body as I blushed.

"Not the first time I've said this, but you have fabulous legs, my sweet."

He followed his words by running his fingers from my ankle to my knee. I wanted him to go further, maybe to touch something other than my leg but moved his path back down. I whined, my body wriggling automatically.

"Oh no, I'm teasing you, sweet Harry. So you learn not to question my affection for you." He smirked, "I've never loved before this, and I've warned you against abusing the power that gives you."

I heard this voice, far away and barely recognisable, but off Dumbledore blabbed. Gobbling like a turkey. I knew this was a dream, or at least in my head, and he was coming to wake me up. The frustration was overwhelming, strengthened by Tom's wrath in my mind. He questioned if I was going to give him the cold shoulder when I killed Dumbledore, and I was surprised by the level of honesty my decline had. He chuckled and kissed my head. Then everything sort of fell away.

_**~o0o~** _

 My eyes opened as the doors opened. Dumbledore rushed in, my godfather close behind, and Neville storming in with the teachers as well. They seemed to be arguing over something.

"If my godson says there's nothing else to tell you, then you have the whole story. Leave him be."

"He doesn't need you dumping more stress on him Professor, especially when you only give him half a story and don't answer his questions. Leave him the fuck alone. Respectfully."

I giggled. It was comforting hearing Neville speak to Dumbledore like that. It gave me hope that he'd stay with me over Dumbledore when I choose to make my allegiance public. As long as I don't need to do so now.

They rushed me, the teachers trying to ask me questions with Sirius and Neville blocking them. I managed to get them all to shut up, and confirmed what both my defenders had said. I asked if they could leave my prize money with Fred and George, and Sirius assured he'd get it to them. He started kicking everybody out, and I was left with Neville.

"We won't be alone for long, but I know you aren't telling the whole story, I can tell. You don't have to tell me, but you can trust me with it when you're ready."

I honestly wanted to. I wanted to tell him everything I now knew about Tom, lure him to the dark side with me, but I didn't know if he would. And then Sirius came back. I fixed a smile on my face and told him we'd talk later. Sirius came in to announce I was going home, because if Dumbledore saw such a problem then I wasn't safe at school. Really, he just wanted me to get some free time off school.

So I was out of there the next day, leaving the pesky professors and my dilemma with Neville for another day. Dumbledore let us through his fireplace and we emerged outside in the living area at 12 Grimmauld Place. As my vision cleared, I spotted Tom lounging on my Godfather's speckled couch. He looked as tasty as he usually did, except out of place on such a mucky piece of furniture. He rose to greet me and held me close.

"The Daily Prophet wrote that something suspicious happened, but he didn't believe you were fine. Had to see for himself apparently."

"I couldn't stay away under the current crisis."

His words almost made me giggle, given that practically he was the current crisis. Sirius grumbled, clearly uncomfortable, and make a break for the exit to leave me with my lover. My own Dark Lord. Strange to think of him that way with tenderness, rather than distaste. I could almost picture every person he's murdered as I look into his sweet chocolate eyes, I can picture the crazy delighted smile as he took their lives, but I just can't care enough to avert my eyes from how kissable those lips are. Why is that? Why don't I care?

"We have to talk my love. I still have much to explain."


	12. Explaining To Do

I led Tom by the hand up to my room on the third floor, ignoring Sirius' insistence that the door remains open with a slam. He mentioned that the Order was meeting in the dining room, over whether or not they thought I should be involved, because Dumbledore was paranoid and Sirius said I was in or they could find another place to meet. So they were deliberating. I didn't really care, except it gave me a clear position to be a spy. I should plan this with Tom.

 "I'm sure you've been questioning the little connection between us, how you can feel what I feel sometimes, and how I get into your head. I can clear that up if you want."

Considering I thought we'd be coming up here for more than a chat, I was stunned by the proposition of the lecture. Though it was clearly something I should know. I nodded, inviting him to lounge on my bed with me. He opted for the chair, on the other side of the room.  _How romantic_.

 "It's like the diary, with a shard of my soul concealed inside. A Horcrux. That's what I believe you are, though I'm not sure how I made you one. The soul is a person's essence, and you have access to mine, which gives me access to yours. You're my last actually.

"You see, the purpose of a Horcrux is to anchor someone to the living world. Though my body was killed 13 years ago, my spirit remained. It was tormenting, a pain I hadn't experienced in my mortal life, crushing loneliness and no power for anything. Which is why I needed to feed off of unicorns and Quirrel when we first met. Ginny's life gave form to my Horcrux diary. I previously had more, Ravenclaw's diadem, Hufflepuff's cup, the locket you found, a ring belonging to my mother and my snake. But I've absorbed my soul from them to be more whole. I leave the rest of me with you. "

It was little much to wrap my head around. But I mostly understood, even felt flattered by him leaving me as a Horcrux. I enjoyed how close it allowed me to feel to him, safe from lonely nights when I could see him in my subconscious. But the tale of him in pain wounded me because it was me who put him there. It was self-defence, and almost entirely his fault, but I was crushed by the guilt it inspired. I never wanted to hurt him, I told him as I thought it in a hope to convey the weight of the truth in it. He just looked at me, not with uncomfortable admiration like before, but with an expression so impassive I wasn't sure he'd heard me. It would take getting used to him being different, but it wasn't all bad.

"Why get rid of all the Horcruxes if they keep you alive?"

"I don't need all the ones I've made. The more I made, the further I sank into insanity. I lost sight of what I truly wanted to do with the Wizarding World. I killed more than I originally would have, though it's obvious I'm not against killing when I am sane. Absorbing the other pieces of my soul regained my sanity, so I'm more likely to succeed in everything I want with logical reasoning. And it's poetic to have someone who has my heart have my soul also."

"So how do you make a Horcrux?"

He raised an eyebrow, "A ritual. Once you split your soul, there's a ritual which will remove it from your body and into an object of your choice. Before you ask, murder splits the soul. I murdered your parents and when my spell backfired, my soul was released. I guess the piece that spilt from that went for nearest living things, seen as I hadn't performed a ritual."

"So I could make one?"

He didn't reply to start with, clearly mentally piecing an argument to forbid me from making my own. But then he asked why I'd want to mark myself for damnation as he had, though without the motivation he had to live forever. It was a simple answer, one he should have figured out on his own. I explained my thoughts on the problems we had if he was to live forever while I lived as long as fate allowed, getting older until I was elderly. And then when I died, he'd be left without a Horcrux, but if I lived forever then so could he. He nodded once but didn't voice his opinion. It was frustrating.

"Tom, we're basically having a conversation about our future. It would be comforting if you participated in this too."

"I was merely considering the possibilities you're presenting. I would never have considered you would have the attitude you do, I anticipated more outrage and less enthusiasm. Though if you're sure, there are Death Eaters that have little use for me, you can choose one of them if it is easier. Peter Pettigrew perhaps. And I volunteer to be the vessel for your soul should you desire. I wonder what effect that would have on the bond we already have, marking me as I marked you."

That would be perfect, all the things I'd want to ask for handed to me before my mouth could open. He was truly starting to understand me. And when the connection goes the other way it creates the opportunity for me to know him just as well. I nodded, a smile plastered on my face that wasn't going anywhere. Or so I'd started to think.

"But, if you can't go ahead with it, I'll understand. There's no pressure on you to be a killer, I love as you already are."

He was aiming to please, I knew that. He was trying to comfort me on worries he thought I had and telling me I didn't have to change for him to love me. But I didn't hear that. I heard ' _if you chicken out, then that's alright too. Wouldn't want to force the saviour to be who he isn't. And I think you're okay, I love you enough to overlook it'_. I turned my scowl away from him as confusion got to his facial expression, and moved away when he moved to sit beside me on the bed. I was getting frustrated pointlessly, but I couldn't help feeling inadequate in his eyes, and that didn't sit well with me.

"Harry, tell me what you're thinking, I don't want to have to invade your privacy by looking in your mind."

"No." I frowned, "I'm being an idiot, it sucks that I can realise that but not stop myself feeling how I do. But it's hard to have faith in me when you don't."

We turned to the door at a gentle knock. Sirius edged his head around the door, eyes squeezed shut as he asked if we were decent. I giggled. He opened his eyes and smiled. No nakedness, no rumpled sheets, no just-fucked hair. He was satisfied. He told me I was wanted downstairs, as Dumbledore was overruled. I was a member of the Order of the Pheonix now. I left Tom upstairs, offering him to stay the night. He accepted after a moment's hesitation, gauging my reaction as I smiled in response. We'd sort everything out after.

The pantry was full of people, some I knew but others I didn't. The Weasley's cleared a space for me next to Ron. I remained standing as Dumbledore asked what it was I thought he wasn't telling me. I pointed out the injustice in labelling me as some chosen one when I didn't know of any legend or prophesy that backed his claim. Every year someone was trying to kill me, but I had no idea why. Sirius insisted he tell me the prophecy, and we crossed our arms over of chests as a sign of determination.

"Fine. As Harry has mentioned, it is within his rights to know. But he cannot repeat this, there are few we can trust." I nodded, but it was a lie I hoped he wouldn't pick up on. "The prophecy reads thusly 'The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord arises. Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies. The dark lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the dark lord knows not. But either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives."

That sounded pretty straight-forward. My parents defied him with the order however many times, and my birthday is at the end of July, the seventh month. And it was pretty clear I was destined to kill him if you believed in that shit. Neville could have been this chosen one, but I didn't see how he'd been 'marked' his equal. I'd talk it over with Tom, he'd have an alternative explanation. Prophecies like these aren't black and white. At least that was my hope. I didn't want to hurt Tom, I just hoped he wouldn't want to hurt me either.


	13. Decisions

With a heavy heart, I climbed the many staircases to my room. The ball was in Tom's court. My mind was made up the minute I knew, but Tom still had to make his decision. I found myself pondering what I'd do if he wanted to kill me to ensure his eternity. I mean he murdered for his immortality before, I know he'd do whatever it took to take power and live forever. It was a concerning thought.

And Dumbledore still clearly didn't believe what I'd said about the Portkey being a mistake rather than a trap. The rest of the meeting was going on about being on our guard. ' _Constant vigilance'_. Dumbledore had spun it off as being an attempt on my life which went wrong. They'd found the real Alastor Moody while I was missing, so they thought it was the imposter who messed with the Portkey. It was because he failed to confuse the original destination that I ended up alone in a graveyard and not in Voldemort's grip. Or so they were under the impression.

Tom was laying on my bed, eyes closed and breathing steady. I briefly questioned if he was in my mind, but it didn't feel that way. I could usually feel this tingly warmth in my mind when he was with me. Chocolate eyes slid open and found me watching him curiously. He shifted to make room, enough for me to need to cuddle in next to him. It had been too long seen I'd been with him physically. We were always talking via letter, and he'd been in my mind once, but I prefer the real feeling of being in his arms. The true warmth.

"You said something before you left, which I didn't get to argue over because of your interrupting godfather." He scowled, "what do you mean by 'I don't have faith in you'?"

My cheeks tinted pink as I had to explain my immaturity earlier. That I know he was trying to comfort me so I didn't kill from pressure, but it sounded like he didn't believe I could do it. I was doing it for him but he didn't believe I could do it for him. His scowl softened, but he scolded me to understand hat it was meant to take the pressure off, because he didn't want me following his very command from pressured fear. He wanted my obedience because I love him and want to please him. The thought made me giggle.

"That sounds like a BDSM proposal if I ever heard one," I smirked. He looked confused. "You know, the whole kinky bondage, dominant/submissive, 'spank me master' thing."

He laughed. I loved the sound of his laugh, it's been a while since I'd heard it. He ensured me he'd be looking into this 'BDSM thing' for a later date. I asked why it was for later and not now. He insisted I was still young, 14 years old was no age to be thinking of sex. He wanted me to focus on my studies.

"So, you want to be my tutor rather than my boyfriend?"

He scoffed. "I insist on being more than that. Though it's a benefit to have me as a tutor, I need more of a claim on you than that. No one else can touch you, or kiss you, or anything. I need your everything to be mine, I'm a greedy individual. I demand your body with your heart, and your soul if you make a Horcrux. I need to ensure that my love and affection is safe with you. I've never felt heartbreak, but I don't think it'll be good for anyone around me."

I understood that. He's never allowed himself to feel anything, and these emotions can be used against him to cause harm. He's naturally prejudiced to feelings of love and devotion, so I shouldn't be surprised he'd feel this way. But it was so much to ask of someone, to their everything to you, though I could do it. Through our connection, I could feel his urgency, though I wasn't entirely sure what it was for. He already had my heart, I would never give my body to another, and when I make a Horcrux he'll have my soul. I promised him he'd always have all of me if I always had all of him.

"So, what was the meeting about my little spy?"

"Staying on guard because they think the Portkey was a failure rather than a mistake. And Dumbledore recited some prophecy about us."

Tom sat up, insisting he hears what the full prophecy was. He told me about how Snape was supposed to listen in and tell him, but he only got the first part about my parents and my birthday. I listed off the rest, worrying about his reaction to end. He felt my tension but didn't understand why. He asked, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. It would bother him and Sirius could hear if he gets really angry.

He pushed me down by the shoulders, eyes glaring into mine intensely. And there he was, a warmth spreading through my mind. Searching. He brought out my thoughts from ascending the stairs, questioning whether he'd kill me to live and whether I'd let him. The heat got painfully intense, a burning fire. A hand flew to my throat and squeezed enough to make my eyes bulge slightly.

"Is that what you really think? You think that little of my love that I would kill you for something I already have?"

His voice was fierce, his eyes tinted by red. His teeth were bared in a harsh sneer. And I was terrified. It was like the first time I saw him, in the forbidden forest with unicorn blood dripping from his chin. I wasn't afraid he'd kill me, though he could easily tighten the hand on my neck. I was just afraid he'd hurt me. The kind of pain I knew a man like him could do was nothing compared to the pain he himself could inflict on me.

I apologised as best as I could pass the tightness of my throat. Wetness trailed down my cheek before I realised I was crying. He reached a hand for my face. I flinch away, eye squeezed shut so I wouldn't see the impact. I suspected a rough touch that left a pain behind, but his fingers merely brushed the tear away delicately. He took his hand from my neck and the bed moved as he did. When I opened my eyes he was sat on the end of my bed, facing away from me.

"I apologise for frightening you. It seems I need to control my temper better before I see you again." He spoke, turning in the direction of the door. "I should take my leave before further harm can be done."

"Please don't leave," I rasped, not realising how sore my throat had become. "I'm fine, it's just easy to forget how dangerous you can be, and it shook me up little."

"I want you to forget I can be dangerous because I shouldn't be to you."

"What about staying the night, you said you would?" I reminded, but he deflected with the old 'this is what's best for you' excuse.

Leaping from my bed, I marched towards him and forced him around. Then I slammed him against the door and glared. I recalled a conversation we'd had about how I dislike other people dictating my life, and telling me what's best for me. He wasn't my dad or my guardian of any kind, so he had no excuse for thinking he owned me.

"Here I thought I had your everything, meaning I do own you."

I laughed. "You know what I mean. I'm a person, I have free will, I should be allowed to fucking use it. I'll always be in danger, if not from you then from people that will hurt me to get to you. But I'm making this choice for myself. So please, stay with me tonight."

He conceded, though he looked deep in thought. My questioning look spoke wonders, and he frowned over how right I seemed to be about the danger. I order him to protect me then and he smiled. His arms wrapped around my middle, his body pressed to my back. He swore to always protect me, no matter what lengths he had to go.

There was a creek from just outside the door. I went over to open it and Sirius was fidgeting as he tried to creep away. He turned to smile guiltily, and that brightened when he turned to Tom. He nodded at him, and Tom mirrored the gesture confidently. Sirius warned dinner would be ready in five or so minutes. I nodded.

I asked Tom, "I can bring the food up here, if you're not comfortable going down with all those people?"

"I wouldn't worry too much," Sirius deflected. "It's just the Weasley's, Hermione, Remus and me. Then again, there's been tension with Ron, so you don't have to."

Tom assured me he wanted to meet the twin Weasleys that I liked. We agreed to go down in a moment. He pulled me back into my room, quickly explaining that he had a different interpretation to the prophecy.

"Obviously the first bit you know, but I think I marked you as my equal by giving you part of my soul. I think we can only die by killing each other, nobody else involved. But we've survived at the same time, so we can both live. Get it?"

I nodded. It made sense and was preferable to how Dumbledore wanted to portray it. He moved me towards the stairs as he closed my door, and I led the way to what I hoped would be a really fun evening.


	14. Dinner Surprises

We kept discussing the prophecy as we descended the stairs. He explained each line to me, from his more peaceful interpretation. The point of me vanquishing him didn't necessarily mean I was killing him, just defeating him, and that could easily mean how he'd been conquered by his feelings into becoming less dark, at least preventing him from killing mercilessly. My parentage and birth month were simple, as they defied him and I was a July baby. The marking could mean my scar, or even giving me his soul, and I had the power of emotions. It never said I used the power against him, so Tom took that as I taught him to feel things, or just opened him up to feel. Dying by each other's hands meant without killing each other we'd live forever. It got tricky with the last line because I didn't know there was a difference between surviving and living. Surviving could mean to endure or scrape by, and living was to take life by the horns and do what you wanted your way.

It was great to see this was better than what Dumbledore intended. Clearly, he was aiming for war and death rather than trying to see a different side to save hundreds of lives. "For the greater good." It was just his unnecessary hatred. At least when Tom killed these days, he did it for actual reasons, not just pointless death because of a stubborn, unchanging viewpoint.

I could hear the bustle in the dining room. Mrs Weasley was rushing everyone around over the general mumble. Tom assured he didn't know how well he'd respond to being moved around by the woman. I insisted he didn't need to because I had no intention of doing that. Tom chuckled. He remarked how sore I would become if I remained so disobedient after we started adding the 'BDSM thing' to our relationship.

"Of course not, it's like you said before. I obey you to make you happy, I don't care about her happiness."

We laughed as we entered the dining room. Everyone looked up as we entered. Granger and Mrs Weasley couldn't keep their eyes off Tom, the mudblood even had some drool at the corner of her lips. I didn't even care that I'd used a vulgar word like that because the only other word that fit would be a whore from the way she was staring. Not that I was worried, it was hard to be jealous of buck teeth and frizzy hair.

I introduced everyone in the room. Tom didn't seem interested in Arthur or Molly as they gushed over him, nor in Percy's intellectual introduction. Fred and George scoffed at everyone's brown-nosing and came forward to shake his hand and give me a double hug. We ignored Ron's feeble 'hello' and Granger's gushing. Next, I introduced him to Remus, who he seemed the most interested in. He wanted to have a conversation with Remus regarding defensive magic, as he was a professor in the subject.

"And we invited someone else over for dinner, to make you feel better." Remus smiled gently.

Before I could even ask who they'd want to invite over, Neville burst through the door with Sirius, asking if he could speak to me quickly, and privately, before we ate. He looked a little rumpled, but everything else was covered by his coat. It seemed rude of Sirius to not ask him for his coat when he came in. But I agreed to hear him out anyway, leaving Tom to talk academics with Remus.

Neville sprinted up the stairs and into my room, where he paced the length in panic. He begged me to help him, and calm him down. He said I needed to keep his secret, or he'd be in real bad trouble. Obviously, I promised him, but he still started shaking as he tried to explain himself.

"Gran left me in the house tonight, she had some fancy party to go to, so I accepted to have dinner here. But while I was getting ready, somebody tried to break in. He didn't know I was there, so he tried to attack me. I don't even know what happened properly, I was so mad that someone would try to beat and rob me or Gran.

"I hit him, Harry, I didn't even stop when he wasn't moving. Oh god, I killed him." Neville cried, opening his coat and showing his blood covered clothes. "I fed him to the Flesh-Eating Slugs in the greenhouse out back. Fucking hell Harry, I'm a murderer. I'm going to Azkaban for this, I just know it."

I was stunned. I didn't know what to do, or how to help him. But my mind raced to the person I thought could. I reached through my link with Tom, reaching for him, calling him up to help me as Neville paced and shook. Until there was a gentle knock on the door.

Tom walked straight in. Neville panicked then, shouting that I had betrayed his trust. I tried to reason what was happening, but Tom silenced me with a look. After settling a silencing charm around the room, Tom instructed Neville to strip and borrow my clothes. He asked whether Neville was certain that the slugs had done their job, and he nodded slowly. His eyes clouded as if reliving himself watching it. 

"Harry, help him into clean clothes, I'll make them fit better. Neville, you may have guessed I'm Tom, I'm going to help you."

"Why? Why are either of you helping me? I'm a killer, I killed some guy and I'm only worried about what's going to happen to me."

"Neville, I'm about to be honest with you. I'm giving you the same level of trust you're giving me right now okay?" I smiled, "Dumbledore is right about me holding something back, Voldemort was in the graveyard and I helped him. It's complicated to explain, but he's-"

"Me, I'm Voldemort. Harry helped combine a part of my soul to the rest of me, so I'm stronger." Tom explained.

Neville looked between us, still wearing his blood covered clothes. It was too much for me to take. I walked over and pulled his coat off his shoulders. I reached for the hem of his t-shirt and he lifted his arms. I dropped the top on the coat. That shook him back to himself, and he asked if we could leave him to shower and dress. I was ready to agree. Some blood had smeared on his body. He went into the bathroom, and me and Tom headed back down the stairs. I thanked him for helping with Neville, but he insisted I shouldn't because he planned to make him a death eater.

"He's the first, now I need to convince Sirius and Remus. I don't care about others, but I want them and Neville to be on my side."

"Leave them for another day. We have Neville on our side, show the other two that our love is genuine and it'll be easier for them to accept when they find out."

He made sense. Hopefully, he was right as well. Sirius, Remus and Neville were my family, I wanted them to be a part of my new life with Tom. He wouldn't hurt them, not until they made it necessary. Tom wants them on our side too, he doesn't want to leave me without family again. It was all up to fate for now, but I could hope to keep everyone I loved around me. We would see one day.


	15. Touching Under Tables

Ron and Hermione kept trying to stick their nose in places it shouldn't be, asking about Neville and if he was okay. After five minutes of me not giving them an answer, Hermione used her snooty, know-it-all voice to 'remind' me that Neville was their friend too. I merely stated that if that was true, then she'd already know instead of trying to annoy the answer out of me. I asked if her problem was that it was something she didn't know, and that lack of Intel made her feel more like Ron. Before they could recover from their offended state, I went and sat with Tom. He and Remus were discussing the best ways to deal with a vampire since Tom had run into one on his travels. He lifted his sleeve to show a long scratch he had on his lower arm.

"I'd thought I moved fast enough, but it left me with a souvenir."

I stroked the scar with a frown. He hadn't told me much about where he'd been, or how dangerous it had been. Probably because he'd done some evil dodgy shit and didn't want to freak me out. But I wanted to know what he was doing and what his plans were. I guess I have a right since I was changing sides for him and risking my family for him. That had to be enough reason to be given involvement.

"His teachers said Harry did really well this year." Sirius grinned, "I think he's been improving pretty well."

Tom returned his smile, "I'm certain he has, with more positive influences around him."

I recognised the double meaning. He was publicly offering a compliment to Remus and Sirius for looking after me, but he threw Ron and Hermione a sideways glance that showed how he was also saying I was better off without them. I hugged him from behind, and my 'parents' smiled as he looked over his shoulder to kiss my cheek. Mrs Weasley looked like she was caught between swooning and puking. Hermione tried not to look bothered, but she was. She was used to being the good influence on Ron and me, the victim of our stupidity, not someone I was better off without. But she needed to accept the truth eventually.

Neville reappeared just as Mrs Weasley set all the food down on the table. He took the space next to Tom, as I already had Sirius next to me. Conversation flowed and Hermione kept trying to whisper things to Neville but he mostly ignored her. It was just stupid how she couldn't figure out that she was nothing to us now. She didn't take being ignored well, but she tried her hand talking to Tom. He didn't speak to her much, but she didn't stop, so he went along. I felt something touch my leg and tied not to choke on my potatoes. At first, it turned me on because I thought Tom was being so sly and naughty. But he wouldn't do that, he hadn't so far. I peeked down and saw a sock rubbing my thigh. And it looked like it came from across the table.

I controlled my expression as I retrieved the knife from in front of Tom as he looked on confused, and stabbed the foot under the table. Ron yelped, his face a mix of pain and anger as he glared at me. I smiled as sweetly as could and placed the knife back on the table. The table had gone silent, eyes spread between looking at me or Ron or Tom. And Tom looked scary. I placed a hand on his leg and he looked at me. The corner of my lips turned up and his expression slowly morphed to mirror mine. I noticed some people relax, and Sirius tried to change the subject before Neville squeaked.

"Woah. Hermione could you not rub my leg," he scowled. "Or Tom's, if that's who you were aiming for?"

Sirius placed a hand on my shoulder, and everyone on the table looked to me with almost fear in their eyes. Worse than with Tom. It made me laugh. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt and I nearly fell off my chair. Tom caught me with an amused expression. Then we both broke into hysterics. The table looked genuinely terrified. Tom verbally remembered my first hysterical break. He brushed the hair from my eyes, it was like nobody else was there.

"Well, I'm not very hungry," I chuckled.

Tom agreed and asked permission to leave. I tried not to laugh at his 40s manners, but it was cute at the same time. Sirius nodded, still stunned by what was happening around him. We ran out of the room together, galloping up the stairs like in some cheesy romance movie. He pushed me into my door to enter my room as his mouth connected to mine. I pushed him back to close it as our kiss deepened.

"I very nearly murdered that prick for touching you," he growled.

"I think Sirius may have had a problem with that."  _Shit! Neville!_ Bad timing dude.

I opened the door to see him covering his eyes with a smirk. At least he was back to his normal, chipper self. Neville thanked us for helping him out. I was worried about him bringing up what I'd said about Tom being Voldemort, and he could see that in my expression. He promised that as long as I was happy, he wouldn't have to kill Tom. Or more probably just tell Dumbledore, who would kill Tom. I laughed and thanked him. One down, three to go.

"Well, Neville, I have a proposition for you," Tom grinned.

"I would have guessed. All I'm gonna say is I'll serve him, not you. No offence, but he's like my brother, so I'm sticking with him."

Tom nodded, agreeing that he'd have it no other way. Neville would be a Death Eater entrusted with my safety, after being trained. Severus was intended to be his mentor, but I didn't agree. I'd always thought Snape was on the Death Eater's side, but now I couldn't risk him truly supporting Dumbledore. Tom adjusted his plans so that Neville was trained by someone else, though asked how I planned to learn where his loyalty lies. I supposed asking him, if he said with Dumbledore then I'd try to kill him and see how he adjusts. If he stills sides with the old man, then I'll need someone there to dispose of him. Tom and Neville nodded to the plan as if they'd be there to ask, and I proposed we go through with it the next day, before the next order meeting.

"Well, head to sleep Neville. If it works, training with Severus."

He closed the door, effectively ending the conversation. He trailed kisses down my neck, pulling me to the bed and ordering me to lay down. My skin tingled at the command, and I obeyed readily for him. He chuckled at my eagerness but insisted that we wouldn't be doing that tonight, he wanted me well rested for my plan. I yawned and relaxed. He laid beside me, the first time we'd shared a bed, and held me to him. I wondered when he would be less conservative with me, and treat me less like a child. I just want him to be more adult with me, like when we were in my head. So I slept hoping to see him in my dirty dreams again.


	16. Snape's Loyalties

There were no meet-ups in my dirty dreams. Just thoughts of how we could have spent last night. The positions he could put me in, how it would feel having his prick in my mouth, or mine in his. I was submissive to him in every way, it gave me tingles to hear him call me 'pet' like it was a loving nickname. I'd seen him topless before, but I'd never seen him fully naked. It left a lot up to my imagination. I woke up frustrated that I was left untouched and my morning wood only added to that. It was comforting to have his heat behind me, his arms holding me around my waist. Just a little further down and I'd be getting some satisfaction. My movement unsettled him and he held me tighter, nuzzling the back of my neck. HIs voice was husky as he told me I smelt nice. It sent a jolt south.

"Oh no baby, none of that" he chuckled.

I pouted, "why not?"

"Because I was raised in the 40s, I isolated myself from people so I didn't progress socially like the rest of society. Call it old-fashioned if you like, but fornication was frowned upon when I was young. Now I consider it a respect thing, I respect your body enough to not use it for my pleasure meaninglessly. I also respect my body, not wanting to give over something as important as control of my physical pleasure to anyone I don't trust completely, and at an appropriate time where I can completely enjoy myself without worrying about your age, or innocents, or someone walking in on us. I've never given myself over to someone like that before, I don't how I'll be. Rough or gentle? Loud screams or panting moans? It's an interesting thought for me, though not one I'll investigate on a whim."

"So we don't get to do anything until we're married?" I frowned, "I can live with that. You like the way I smell and have a fascination with my legs, which means you'll marry me someday, so I'll wait."

He held me tighter. I wiggled out of his embrace to solve my problem myself, alone so as not to disrespect his eyes with such lewdness. My punishment for being cheeky was a sharp swat to my ass. It stung, but also made me giggle. He smiled at me, though he raised a challenging brow. I wouldn't dare challenge him. I understood he was the alpha in our partnership, it made life easier to not pick fights over unessential things. I left to enjoy the solidarity of the bathroom for my problem.

Breakfast was less eventful as dinner, and Tom left just after. It was hard to let him leave, but he insisted he needed to go. Bitterly, I remembered I had three years before I became an adult and was allowed to move in with him, before I could marry him. My mood was ruined after that, I moped around thinking of Tom and how much I missed him. Sirius thought I was obsessive, I admitted that. But I made a plan with Tom, I needed to follow through. I wanted to make him proud of me. A good little pet, like I'd dreamed because all I'd have was dreams for a while.

"I need a distraction, it might as well be productive," I smiled. "If Professor Snape isn't busy, I want him to tutor me with Potions. This big fight isn't picking up, so I want to make sure I get the O.W.Ls I need for my N.E.W.Ts. I want to be an Auror, just like my dad, and I need Potions."

Sirius looked uncomfortable but gave me permission to use the Potions Lab in the basement. He left to floo Dumbledore, Snape would listen to the headmaster but not likely to listen to anyone else. I grinned to myself. It was a low blow, but using my dad to manipulate Sirius was kind of easy. Maybe I shouldn't have done that. Tom's the bad cop here, I shouldn't be doing things like that. But it gave good results, Sirius returned with the Potions Master in tow and neither looking particularly happy about it. I greeted Snape with more respect than I ever had before, using his title as well as his surname. He turned on his heels and headed to the basement door. Small talk was never a strength of his.

In the basement, we stood across from each other, and he waited for me to say something. I confessed I didn't want him here to tutor me and he laughed harshly. He let off his usual barrage of insults about how my lack of intelligence and similarities with my father. Suddenly I felt the weight of my relationship on my shoulders, like if he was a loyal death eater then Tom could torture him for such a statement. He could punish anyone for talking down to me. It was a scary and intoxicating power.

"Look, you're here for one reason only, to prove to me who you're loyal to." I scowled, but checked myself and halted my attitude. "I want to know if I can trust you to do your role and keep the man I love safe. So where are your loyalties? With Dumbledore, or with Tom?"

His eyes widened. He took a step back when I brought out my wand. I cast a hasty silencing charm. There were multiple spells I could use to try and take him down, he wouldn't expect any of them, it would just be hard to get any of them to hit. Then I'd need Tom to come to get me immediately to keep me out of trouble. I hadn't fully thought this through, but if I ended up in Azkaban to keep Tom safe you can bet your sorry ass I'd do it. He made me just that crazy. I was quick to disarm my professor as soon as I thought he'd reached for his wand, it made him take me seriously.

"I fight to protect you. I was close to your mother, she died to save your life." He paled, hands in the air. "You have her eyes. While I despise how much you resemble your father, I try to focus on your eyes. If you're changing sides then I'll change too."

"How can I trust you aren't just saying that because you feel threatened now?"

"Send me to him, he can read my mind." He asked.

"And let you just run to Dumbledore, oh no. I won't let you out of my sight until I know I can trust you."

It was a stupid idea, but the only one I had. I stared into his eyes and tried to plough into his head as I did with Tom. I didn't know a spell, or wand movement, but I forced my magic to do what I wanted. Images flashed into my mind from his, things I wanted to see. His affection for my mum. Dumbledore convincing him to change sides because he cared for my mum and I was her blood. A conversation on protecting me, certain I was a Horcrux and needing to keep me alive until the right time. That was the straw that broke the camels back for me. I was a pig to Dumbledore, a pig he was raising for the slaughter. It just wasn't the time.

I freed Snape from my grasp on his mind, not realising the kind of damage done until I saw him crumpled on the floor groaning. Before I would have apologised and run over to make sure he was okay. I would have called for help by running upstairs to Sirius or Remus. But now I felt strong, I understood why Tom used pain to show his power, there was a thrill to it. He looked up at me with watery eyes and I ordered him to Tom's side, where he was needed to fill a role. Neville would have his intended trainer. He dusted himself off and took a moment to gain his composure before he walked me out of the basement.

"Good lesson, Harry?" Remus greeted conversationally.

"What I could get from it. Professor Snape forgot a previous appointment, so he'll tutor me another day. Or I'm sure you could improve my appalling skills thus far."

I made up a conversation, faking a smile through it as Snape left, a last surprised look back at me before he left. I was apprehensive, he could turn to Dumbledore anyway and have me in serious trouble, but I'd go down screaming murder to anyone who'd listen about our beloved headmaster and see where his social position goes. A part of me was terrified by how cold and dark my mind had become, not fully understanding it was okay to be this way with Tom, questioning if I should open up to my 'parents'. But I knew they weren't ready. The truth would come out eventually, and at that point, they needed to decide. Family or a decade old vengeance?

"Now Harry, it's just about time for lunch." Sirius grinned, "and I'm famished."

"Aren't you always?" Remus teased, heading for the kitchen. I hoped Tom and I would always be that cute too.


	17. Pointless Argument

I worked with Remus throughout the day, mostly he wanted me to work on runes because I understood none of it. A phone call after lunch from Tom brightened my mood. He requested permission to join us for dinner, making it sound very respectful and formal, but I laughed it off and insisted he come by for dinner. I was cooking, and the Weasleys would be nowhere to be seen. I kicked Remus and Sirius out as well. I wanted to surprise him with an empty house and a romantic dinner. There was going to be love in everything I did for him tonight. The fight would start picking up, I wouldn't see him as often. He needed to know how much I loved him.

He came over to a candlelit dinner table, and I'd dressed in the nicest robes I had. His eyes were glued to me as I moved around the table, holding onto him with a sweet smile. He complimented my effort, and the crazy look in my eye from a memory he'd seen in Snape's mind. The Potions professor was a little scared of me now he understood how far I'd go for someone I loved. I desperately loved him, hopelessly even. I promised him he had me, and he swore to me he was also mine. It was empowering to hear him say something like that when we weren't being physical. I didn't need to own his body if it was promised to me. I guess he felt something like that too.

The day after, Neville started his training with Snape. They had ministry permission, Snape was a professor and Neville was an under-progressing student, so they saw it in his best interest. They set up a room in Neville's home with a protective barrier that numbed the trace on his magic and let them work together for 8 hours a day. Then he had homework. I'd never been to summer school but it sounded like it sucked. And with all the extra work, I hadn't been able to see him as often as I wanted to. A week had passed before I had the opportunity to see him again, before he had a free minute for anything other than Snape. We met at Diagon Alley in the tea shop again.

"It's different with us now, he's more mentor less teacher, I'm more comfortable around him. Yesterday, we spent an hour talking about each other, you know, like our lives and that. He's really kinda interesting."

I was happy it was going well. There was a time when Neville would quake at the thought of being in front of Snape, but now he was thinking they were like friends. At least it meant they were being nice to each other. I wouldn't have to torment him for being a dickhead again. I complained that I hadn't seen Tom all week, but Neville admitted he'd seen him a couple of days ago. Tom had asked if Neville would be distressed by him bringing Bellatrix out of Azkaban, she was a strong duelist and loyal follower.

"I wasn't bothered. If it was okay with you, I didn't care."

It hardly bothered me. There was no reason for me to care, and if she was so strong and loyal then she could protect him. It was comforting to have her out, and Neville didn't seem angry about her. I asked him to open up about how he truly felt about the situation. He didn't want her saying anything about his parents, he warned Tom and been given permission that if she says something then he's going to curse the fuck out of her, but other than that they'd be fine. Nothing wrong with that. I thought he was being much more level-headed than I could ever be in that situation.

At one point Draco walked in. Must be his favourite tea shop too. He came to sit with us to wait for the line to shorten. He ordered us to let him complain, which was classically pompous and totally him. He whined about his aunt, who had arrived to live with them only yesterday and was driving him crazy. Neville took a moment when he was breathing to explain his aunt was Bellatrix. Draco rolled his eyes as he verbally relived hearing her complain about not carrying the Dark Lord's baby. He looked confused by my widened eyes before chuckling that Tom hadn't told me the whole truth about her, if he'd even consulted me.

"Back in the first war, like before the shit with your parents, he was worried about having an heir. Heirs mean legacy, someone to continue his work and advance the family history. Bellatrix was going to be the mother. My mother said she was pregnant when he went after your parents, and she lost the child in Azkaban being a moron about the Longbottoms. No offence."

"None taken," Neville frowned, eyeing me in concern.

I felt weirdly cold. It was obvious there was nothing between them right now, I trusted Tom's love for me enough to be aware of that. But the more it sunk in, the more I dwelled on it. If nothing was going on, why hadn't he said anything to me? And he'd told me he'd never been with someone before, and had respect for his body, so how could she be pregnant. He'd have had to have lied. And that's what made silent tears slide down my frozen face, it was the fact he might have lied to me again. Manipulated me to keep me on his side, and that was no way to have a relationship. It slowly broke my heart, and I blocked off any passage between my mind and Tom's. I didn't want him near me, not until I'd calmed or rationalised what was happening.

Draco fled soon after, but Neville insisted he stay the night out of concern for me. I actually wear fully pyjamas to cover myself and crawled into bed with him for comfort. He brushed my hair as I sobbed, a gentle and fatherly action, and I managed to control myself quicker. I blocked off my dream that night, so even if he wanted to see me he couldn't. Not liked he'd tried in the week since I'd seen him, so I wouldn't be letting him now.

Neville wasn't beside me when my eyes fluttered open the next morning. The bed was cold and I felt a shiver down my spine, like I was being watched. I sat up and saw Tom in the chair by my desk. His face was hard but showed no emotion. I looked over just as impassively. He questioned why he'd found a trainee death eater in bed with his lover, but I shot back asking why Tom's mistress was living with the Malfoys. That confused him. I made a point of being honest with him, going through what Neville and Draco had said to me about him going behind my back, and how he'd made me feel.

"Because it's important in a relationship to be honest with each other. Saves you hurting people you claim to love."

"I do love you. Use the word 'claim' as though you don't believe me and we'll compare how harsh I can be to those I don't love." He glared. "As for Bellatrix, she is a chess piece on the board, a player in my war. If I'm honest, I forgot she was meant to carry my child, I cared very little and impregnated her magically rather than physically. I didn't lie or manipulate you, I have never given my body to someone as I intend to for us when I marry you. If I had remembered, I would have recognised it was important and told you before releasing her. I didn't intend to hurt you, my love. But you also hurt me."

"Oh, what is it you're going to accuse me of so we're even?"

"You shut me off. I was away from you and I suddenly couldn't feel you, I assumed you were talking privately but I was concerned. I tried to enter your dream and found I couldn't. Then I come here and your not dead or harmed like I feared but wrapped in another man's arms. If he wasn't awake to describe what you were doing I'd have killed him for even thinking he could touch you."

I hadn't realised what it had meant to close him off from feeling me. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, just distance. Or maybe he can't trust distance, if I'm in trouble then he'd want to know immediately. It was a different way of thinking. I proposed he'd forgive me for worrying him and getting Neville to comfort me, and I'd forgive him for losing memory in his old age. He was born in 1926, it was easy to forgive. He didn't smile at my attitude when he accepted my apology and walked to the door. I slumped back down. It was one of the first times I was miserable around Tom since we got together, the Narcissa confusion aside. A cold hand pulling my wrist from in front of my face worried me. He smiled down at me. He promised rules for our relationship, which I wasn't surprised by. He had rules for everything, he liked to control and order, everything the way he wanted it. Even me.

"I love you as you are my Harry, but I must always know you are safe. To lose you-" he shivered.

"You'll never lose me. I am yours as you are mine. I except rules to keep me safe, but know that I don't want to change so there shouldn't be many. Not if you don't want to beat me all the time."

He simply chuckled and shook his head. He kissed me gently on the forehead, resting beside me in bed and complaining he was tired. I asked him what he'd been scheming and accomplishing to make him so tired. He began the story of worming his way into the ministry, using young Marvolo Slytherin to secure support politically and above board, and the death eaters to cut down things in his way. Well, at least he was doing things almost the right way. And it may get done quicker, to fight from the inside and outside. I praised his intelligence and lightly kissed his forehead and let him sleep cuddled into me, falling back into slumber from just having him close, making me feel warm and safe and relaxed.


	18. Advancing the Campaign

_What has Fudge been doing since the first Death Eater attack in London? He's denied any possible return of You-Know-Who, the supposedly-deceased leader of the murderous rioters, though it has been suggested that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has been gaining strength and influence in the Wizarding underbelly of Britain. Dark magic is starting to surface, and similarities have been drawn out to how these events match His rise from decades ago. But this is inconsequential to Cornelius Fudge, he is firmly in denial. There are no problems if he's right, but what happens if he is wrong?_

_We finally see a politician who doesn't flat out deny the return. Marvolo Slytherin, the new-found heir to Salazar Slytherin's legacy, is working his way to power pretty quickly, but he says that You-Know-Who may return and has prepared a contingency plan that just needs the approval of the Wizengamot. For a young wizard of only 20 years old, not much has been expected from him, but many members of the Wizengamot have stated that the bill is very well thought out and could help many in the wizarding community if the minister and Chief Warlock would pass it. Dolores Umbridge, close associate to the Minister and rumoured to be the next Defence Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts this year, has been witnessed to try and convince Fudge of the usefulness of the bill, regardless of his beliefs over whether people were right or not._

_Marvolo Slytherin, frustrated by no support being provided against these attacks, has gone a step further for victims already suffering the dark regime of the Death Eaters. Throughout the summer, he has visited many suffering in St. Mungo's and used funding from the Boy-Who-Lived to repair housing for attacks. The two have been seen together, they seem to be very close. Images have been captured of their relationship, laughing together with the homeless children in Surry, Harry Potter spotting paint on our young politician's nose as they painted a memorial fence to those lost in the more violent attacks. In a quick interview, the young male said that the projects were Slytherin's idea, he wanted to show support and courage for those fearing further attacks. Harry Potter personally believes that he's the best option for our society, and only speaks highly of the man. Sounds romantic to me._

* * *

"Tom seems to be doing well," Neville grinned, laughing at the images of us in the newspaper. "And it helps that Umbridge supports him, she'll be able to rival Dumbledore."

"It was a hassle to explain to Sirius, considering Marvolo Slytherin is also my boyfriend Tom. But I told them he kept his name a secret because of the Slytherin thing." I frowned. "But Dumbledore keeps telling me I should stay away from him, or watch my back around him, but not why. He sees the man I love as someone manipulating me and wanting to kill me and said nothing. Prick."

People all over the train were talking about the article. Marvolo was pretty popular, the girls either loved me or hated me for being so close to him in our pictures. They thought we looked adorable together, the cutest couple or I was lucky to know someone as hot as Tom and they were jealous they weren't as lucky. Nobody considered we were only friends, which I didn't mind because we weren't just friends. It kept other skanks away from him. I was certain that I'd flip if I thought any other woman was going near him. I trusted him to go against it, but for someone to put their hands on him would make me cut their hand off. I wouldn't even feel bad about it.

I spent the journey in a compartment with Neville. Draco came through partway through to apologise for filling my head with stupid shit. He looked a little scared, so I guessed Tom had punished him somehow for being loose-lipped. Being the romantic partner to a Dark Lord gave me a power I hadn't consider. I could ask Tom to kill someone's family because they disrespected me at school and he probably would. The darker my thoughts and attitudes, the more attached to me he seemed to get. It was like he was letting himself get closer to me, I was evil like him so I had no reason to turn on him or leave. I was past the point of leaving him.

"Neville, do you think I should have left Tom when I realised who he was? Instead of turning like this?"

He scoffed. He didn't think I could have left Tom if I wanted to, I'd have been locked in a basement if I'd tried. But he preferred me as I was, he thought I was a stronger person. I handled the newspapers asking for quotes on Tom, I handled how other people looked at our potential relationship, I was more confident about everything. It made me feel warm to have him realise such a big change when I have no idea. But as I thought back to my multiple dealings with the Weasleys over the summer, I had to agree with him. It seemed Ronald wasn't going to stop trying to be my friend. He was always trying to talk to me, and it annoyed me enough to consider asking Tom to kill his mother to shut him up.

"Never know, maybe he doesn't want to be friends." Neville smirked, "Dumbledore may want his to seduce you to keep you away from Tom."

The idea had us wetting our pants. Dumbledore ran the order, he was powerful and had influence in the world that was hassling Tom. If the best plan he could make with all his intelligence was to have Ron flirt with me, then there was no hope for the light in this war. Not without them shaking their way out from under the old fart. Like I had. I hoped Sirius and Remus would care about me enough to leave a sinking ship like my best friend sat across from me.

"Thank you, Neville." I smiled," for sticking with me, changing sides, when I'm doing it for a guy."

Neville's chuckles didn't stop, "Oh shut up. What else would I do for my best friend's happiness?" 

* * *

He came when I was alone. Neville was studying with Professor Snape, not being given a break for the school year, and the other boys sleeping in my dorm were in the Common Room socialising. It was just me in the room, unpacking my trunk so it would be easier to organise. My back was to the door and I didn't assume the door opening would mean a risk so I kept it that way. I wasn't alarmed until I felt a breath on my neck.

"It's been harder than I thought to get you alone."

My skin crawled. I turned to turn but arms reached around to squeeze my waist, locking my back to someone's chest. The voice was whispered and husky, I couldn't recognise it. Lips pressed under my ear. I fought against the arms but they just held me tighter. They nibbled my earlobe. I forced my way out of their grip, shoving them back so they toppled onto the bed beside mine. Ron flailed, glaring at me.

"What is your problem mate?" He scowled.

I wanted to laugh, I wanted to hex him seriously bad. I wanted to use an unforgivable on the creep who tried to grab at me so forcefully and accuses me of having a problem when he's sexually harassing me. I hissed that he had better explain what was passing between his three brain cells to make him attack me. He looked genuinely surprised, but that angered me more. What was my problem? What the fuck was his problem? The crazy bastard. I called on my wand and threatened him with it, drawing him back to his senses.

"Look, I'm only trying to help. Dumbledore said I needed to get you away from that Slytherin-guy, that he was bad news. I'm looking out for you mate."

"And was biting my ear your idea or his?" I sneered.

He looked away. The answer screamed from his eyes, he wanted to be kissing Hermione's neck and ear, not mine. The old prick had sent the kid I used to think was my best friend, my rock, to take me away from the only person who made me happy by forcing himself on me? Where was his logic, where was his sanity? It was escaping him in his old age, clearly. And I wasn't going to let him get away with it.

My wand jabbed itself under Weasley's chin, pushing pressure against his pulse. I ordered him to stand, and if he didn't want a world of pain or to lose another member of his family, then he'd repeat every word of that plan to Professor Umbridge. She was a bristle bitch that had taken quite the dislike to me for humouring Tom's idea that Voldemort might have returned, but her hate for Dumbledore was as strong as mine. She and the Minister knew he'd resurrected the Order of the Phoenix, but without a Dark Lord to believe in, he was paranoid enough to think they wanted to overthrow him. And hearing he's capable of setting students against each other is hardly a good thing for a Headmaster. I can knock him off his pedestal and lower public opinion, all things positive for Tom right now. It would be the best way to apologise for being stupid over Bellatrix and his loyalty to me, and the best way to show loyalty to him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crap, but I'm trying. My mental health is not what it used to be, motivation to do anything other than breath is hard to find these days, but I've updated. Prepare for a steady decline because I'm under the impression that everything I do is shit :)


	19. Actions Have Consequences

Umbridge had the minister here in moments. Saying anything that even remotely sounded like Dumbledore did something wrong and he was through her fireplace quicker than a flash. And he didn't come alone, the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Rita Skeeter. He didn't want any opportunity for stories to be changed before they were publicised. He ordered Rita to sit with us and Head Auror Bones took notes of our statements towards the back. I made my statement about Ron's attack, enjoying him pale at the term, and looked to him to confirm his motive. He nodded.

"Now tell me that story," Rita grinned. "How did he approach you? What were you thinking? I want everything."

Ron gulped. It was during the summer. He'd accepted an offer to have dinner with the Weasleys, and pulled him aside to give him a special mission. Marvolo Slytherin was gaining influence, Dumbledore suspected the minister was supporting him which couldn't be allowed to happen. Having the approval of the Boy-Who-Lived as well as the Minister of Magic was too much influence. Dumbledore thought it was easier to cut my connection to him than the minister's, less suspicious. So he told Ron I needed to be seduced, that I must have loved him at one point because of how close we were.

He didn't really want to. He wanted Hermione, he loved Hermione, but he wanted to make his family proud. They did everything Dumbledore asked, and he would too. He told his mother, asked for advice, and she only said Harry seemed the type to like a straightforward approach. He just came on to me, tried to imagine I was Hermione and it wasn't hard to go through with it.

"So it felt nice to kiss Mr Potter's neck, though he struggled against you?" A plucked eyebrow raised at him in question. She was good.

Professor Umbridge suggested that while she stayed as a responsible adult for Skeeter's interview and I should accompany the minister and Mrs Bones to the Headmaster's office. Everyone seemed to agree that he be suspended until a case was made against the Board of Education to have him properly removed. I suggested Professor Snape should step up, students knew him better than Professor Umbridge and he wasn't opposed to supporting her. She agreed, though rele=uctantly. Power hungry lady.

An hour later Dumbledore was gone. He wasn't taken out with the respect of an innocent martyr, he vanished with Fawkes. "He ran like a guilty man, cornered and about to get caught," as Rita put in her article. She wrote it in under two hours and had it published in the evening edition of the Daily Prophet. It was spread quickly, purposefully. They wanted Dumbledore discredited, no one would help him on the run once they heard he wanted me sexually assaulted. And the walls came crumbling down.

The minister instructed me to rest, I'd had enough excitement for one night and they'd sort everything by the morning. I was relieved, I was so tired and I just wanted to lay in bed and think of my Tom. Not had the house elves make up a suite for me. Didn't want me being attacked again. It was nice, cosy. I prefer it to my dorm room. And the bed looked cosier. I slammed myself on the bed, it was so soft and comfy I just fell right to sleep. Into my peaceful subconscious.

* * *

"Harry! My God, are you okay? I read the story in the paper, I can't believe it."

Tom's arms swung around me. I only needed a moment to get used to the idea he'd invaded my mind to meet me, but then I was absorbed by him. I melted into his arms and clung to him like my life depended on it. It was a relief to see him. His tender kisses along my neck were a sweet relief from how Ron was doing it. I told him so. He insisted to know everything the prick had done, and I told him in detail, begging for him to remove the trace of his touch with his own in as sultry a whisper as I could manage. He seemed seduced.

He kissed all over my neck and shoulder. Places even Ron hadn't because he was allowed. Because he wouldn't know. Tom knows everything, he's smart and wonderful. And mine. I connected our lips, I looked for passion and found it. He gave all he took, he wanted me and only me. A gorgeous, smart and loyal man only wanted me. I love him. And he loves me. What luck? I feel like he's all I go on about these days. I'm obsessed.

"I don't even see the meaning in school anymore. I don't want anything in my life but you."

He chuckled. I felt him lift me and I was settled in his lap straddling his thighs. It wasn't sex or anything physical. I was just in love with him, with his mind and personality, his body and touch. I was crazy for him.

"Spend the night with me, my love. A gentle romantic night, and I'll discuss private tutoring with Fudge in the morning. After my lovely night."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I'm losing the will to live, but I tried. I have that at least.


	20. Life Back On Track

Apparently, I couldn't just completely drop my education to be a househusband before I was actually married to Tom. My learning was considered important for my life, Tom worried I may need it eventually. He wanted me to be well versed in most subjects, Snape was to teach me potions, and Bellatrix was a master duelist. She came to me as soon as I entered Malfoy Manor. She wanted to clear up the issue stared by her nephew, that she had no romantic attachment to my boyfriend.

"You may not fully understand our workings. Carrying his baby had nothing to do with wanting him physically, or romantically. It was only the power given to me, the privilege of having a King's baby. I will teach you, perhaps we can be friends. But just know, I mean your relationship no damage, and I have full faith you two will remain together and happy for the rest of your lives."

It was a comfort. After that argument with Tom, I had no doubt he'd stick with me over her, but it was nice to not have to worry about it. Perhaps we could be friends if she wasn't a huge pain in the ass as a teacher. Tom offered to teach me arithmancy and ancient runes. Lucius Malfoy was capable of tutoring me in transfiguration. I wasn't bothered about other lessons. I was able to get Tom to label them as 'potentially additional' which meant I could learn them after we'd married to give me something to do before the children. A bit controlling, but I didn't mind. I wanted a family with him, if I had kids I'd want to spend the most time with my children. He had enough at his disposal to care for me, and my inheritance wasn't small.

"Are you ready for dinner, sweetheart?"

It was a function. A dinner party the Malfoys were throwing, Tom was bringing me as a plus one. I was trying to pick clothes that looked fancy and suited me, like the ones Neville gave me. I was half naked when my godfather and Remus stormed into my room.

"Woah, maybe try knocking."

Sirius had a frantic look in his eyes, Remus was similar but trying to be more controlled. They argued through the door, barely looking at me as they continued in my room. Debating how best to deal with Tom. My godfather was shouting insistently about tearing us apart, Dumbledore was sure it was You-Know-Who, so I needed to be removed forcefully from him instead of seduced away in a stupid plan. Remus was trying to shush him in my presence, and warn him I wasn't so easily moved. He wanted the discussion over before Tom picked me up.

"Moony, be realistic. He isn't going out tonight," Sirius glared.

"Hey! I'm a part of this conversation, shut up and look at me!" I bellowed, a full cocktail of rage that scared them both. "I know who he is, Dumbledore doesn't. I love him, regardless of your opinions, I will move out if you push me. I am not your sparkling saviour anymore, I refuse to be a poster boy so nobody has to care about me as a person. Tom cares about me as a person. I love him with every part of me, I belong to him in every way. Dark Lord or no, he loves me and we're going to be together."

They were stunned silent, didn't say a word as I ranted and dressed. I stormed passed them for the stairs. They followed me down, apparently didn't approve of 'Dark Lord or no, we'll be together'. Tom was brushing himself off outside the fireplace but one look at my face and he was on the defence. Listening to my guardians behind me filled him in quickly.

They panicked at the sight of him, suspicions confirmed, and their wands were raised in an instant. Tom made no such move, merely held me and asked if I was okay. Still, they didn't lower their wands. I reminded them they had their wands pointed at my heart, and he had made no move against them.

"Of course I wouldn't, my love. I'm traditional, I would like his approval before I give you this."

He held a ring, I recognised it as his mother's ring. It made little sense to me until I saw the light in his chocolate eyes. I couldn't breathe as he lowered himself on one knee, frozen by the love in his eyes. He made a big speech about loving me and wanting in his life forever, and being immortal forever was a long time. I could bearly hold in all my excitement, tears in my laughter and joined him on the floor. He put the ring on my finger as I kissed him with all the passion I could muster. The room was silent.

I turned to my guardians, their faces masked with shock. "If you really can't get on board, I'll move out. But I'm leaving the house and your lives. Tom is my happiness now."

Remus looked conflicted, but Sirius seemed to have made up his mind. "Give me time to get over the fact you're screwing the man who not only killed your parents but my best friends. But as long as he still makes you happy, I won't kill him."

"Just for the record, I'm not screwing him. I love him, I respect him, including his body, and I'm insistent on waiting until we're married."

I rolled my eyes, which had Remus smirking. I warned them the conversation could be discussed if it needed to be after the dinner party. We needed to be early if Tom wanted to network before we announced the engagement. They agreed. My fiancé took my arm and walked me into the fireplace, ready to show me off for the party. Only people important, the Malfoys, LeStranges, Neville and Snape. I was meeting new family members to Bellatrix, she warned me I'd enjoy her husband. He'd occupy me with quidditch talk to prevent my boredom. And he did.

It was a good evening, Rodopholus was sweet. Rabastian was quiet but polite. There seemed to be something up with Neville, but he wanted to discuss it in a more private place. I was rammed with congratulations and Mrs Malfoy talking about the luxuries in her wedding. But my mind was at Grimmauld Place, wondering if I'd have to drop my family to start a new one. Not that it would be a bad thing, a fresh start away from dead parents, but I'd miss Sirius.

I panicked when I came through the fireplace without Tom and they were both there. I was tired and left ahead, understand whether I was still living here. They hugged me as soon as I came in, reassuring I was still welcome in our house. Tom was as well, though they were keeping the confirmation over his identity a secret. No point lying and really betraying the Order, even though that's what they were doing. I thanked them both with a hug and we welcomed Tom. He seemed relieved my family were standing by me.

"It's hard to believe I'm getting everything I want. My family, man of my dreams, a bright shiny future.  I'm the luckiest guy alive, I have to be."

"You're just fixing your crap," Tom smiled. "I broke your life, now I'm part of fixing it. Your life is on track my love, I'll keep it this way."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm running out of thoughts for where to continue this story. Next chapter may get posted next month depending on comments on this and FanFiction.Net. Is there anything people want to see? Skip time to important moments like the wedding, go through the planning. Just skip to children? Or does anyone want me to draw this out for the rest of their relationship? Please let me know, once I do it'll let me know what the next chapter should involve. It's been a while, but thanks for keeping up the support, it means a lot right now :)


	21. The Tying of Knots

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get the title? Cos they tie the knot, and I'm tying loose ends... You like it? :D

Typically, now would be the time Lucius would be tutoring me in Transfiguration, but he was in a meeting with Tom. He wasn't as good a teacher as Professor McGonagall, but I still understood what he was telling me. I was progressing strongly, and after meeting Cornelius Fudge to show how I was working, I was given the approval to continue my home study. He was very apologetic over how Dumbledore had reacted to my relationship, but I was just happy his position was filled by Professor Snape and Tom was made Chief Warlock in his stead. It was a suitable punishment for abusing his power to have it taken from him.

"Well, there are still people in the public who are supporting him, though it is true he has no real power. Your young Marvolo is moving through politics rather quickly, the bills he's presented to the Wizengamot are really something."

I had smiled, "I think minds like his can make the wizarding world better, it's a blessing he has that opportunity."

I used this time to read through the book we were working from before Severus dragged me into a Potions session. I was allowed to use his first name now, but he was still intent on disliking me. It was time I enjoyed with Neville, but he was being strange. I was waiting for him to come to me, to open up about whatever had been bothering him when I announced the engagement. But he hadn't. And it was starting to really bother me.

"Look, you have 5 seconds to open up to me about what's bothering you or I'm gonna lose my shit."

He hesitated but shushed me when my counting began. Apparently, a few weeks ago, he was duelling Severus. It was competitive, and when he'd been disarmed he fought with his hands. He ended up knocking Snape to the floor, and the older man had laughed as his wand rattled across the floor. Neville wasn't sure why, maybe because he was straddling his hips, or because Severus was looking him the eyes with his smile, but Neville kissed him. It was just for a second, but as he moved back Severus had moved up. He was rolled onto his back and had his teacher leaning over him. But then Snape moved back. He shot up and left, since then they hadn't had a moment alone. He was being avoided.

"Are you saying you want to forget it happened and go back to normal or get into a relationship?" I frowned.

The answer was in his eyes. He was too embarrassed to tell me he wanted something deeper with a teacher he used to hate. He wanted to fix his situation but didn't have a solution. When Snape walked in to call me to Potions, the solution came to me. I commanded that he use this time with Neville, training to ensure he was as good as can be at protecting me. Neville looked stunned, but there was a small light of gratefulness in his eyes. Bellatrix walked in, offering to talk over defensive magic while we both had free time. It wasn't what we'd talk about, but a great cover. Severus accepted though he seemed reluctant, and I winked Neville off once he'd turned his back.

Bellatrix was on my back about the wedding in a flash. She was acting as Tom's best man, or more accurately best wo-man. She wanted to help with every aspect of the planning, which wasn't bad. Narcissa wanted grandeur and luxury, but I wasn't that kind of 'bride'. Bellatrix added pureblood flair without suffocating me with it. It didn't take long for Neville to walk back in. The time made me worry, but his grin made me smile. Something good was happening.

"So, actual-best-man, any idea what Harry is giving my lord as a gift?" She smirked.

"I have a plan for his gift, but I need both of you to help me." I frowned, "if you want to know, then you have to keep your mouths shut, but this is good."

* * *

 Waking up in my bed a Grimmauld Place felt sad. It would be the last time, from now on I'd wake up next to my husband in Slytherin Manor. After I married him today.

"Wake up love," Sirius knocked.

It was a dream that he and Remus were coming to the wedding. I'd sent out multiple invitations to my wedding to my old friends, and most of them had confirmed they would come. Well, we'd see. They tried to style my hair, but didn't really do very much. My robes were specially made by some women in Paris. I'd asked for Slytherin colours, given I was marrying Slytherin's heir. Pale silver, not quite white, and it glittered in natural light like a diamond. The trimmings and lace detailing was forest green, the studs and other decorations were a similar shade. I looked sophisticated, and the fitting materials flattered my figure.

"You look beautiful, my boy," Remus smiled.

They stood at both my sides, the closest thing to my family. They looked like fathers losing their daughter, combing my hair with their fingers. I promised them I'd be okay. They didn't trust Tom, maybe they never would, but they were trying to trust me. They weren't death eaters, but they didn't help the order anymore. The most they could turn was neutral, but I wouldn't ask more of them.

Remus left ahead, wanting to save seats by the front for him and Sirius. It was my godfather's job to walk me down the aisle to my husband. The Manor had been rebuilt over the months we planned the wedding, I hadn't actually seen it yet. I wasn't a part of the decorations. Bellatrix wanted me to be surprised by the 'artistry' of it all. Letting her collect Tom's wedding present clearly made her like me a lot more. I was just glad she'd kept it a secret. The hallways were streamed with vines, coating walls spring green and adding spots of colour with flowers. I was in shock at the natural beauty of it all but pleased by the basic wonder. The aisle itself was lined with lilies. The reminder of my mother made my breath catch. Sirius looked close to tears by it as well.

Tom smiled from the altar, forest green robes and silver detailing. My opposite. I'd need to write a personal letter of thanks to the Parisian designers, our robes were perfect matches. Just like us. The ceremony was traditional but short, the bonding making my core shiver. I felt his soul heat up inside like it was so happy it was glowing, and I wondered if my soul shined in him. Our connection had almost been palpable since Peter had been used to make my Horcrux, for the past three months it's been torture trying not to jump my fiance. The tingles when we shared our first kiss as spouses shocked through my body like crazy. I nearly tried to yank his robes off then, but barely pulled myself away.

I whispered into his ear as we danced, "I want to give you your gift now."

"So do I," he purred, pulling me even closer.

I insisted this went first, and he frowned as he let me go. It was cute. He sulked the whole way down to the basement, trying not to let himself be curious as to what I'd give him down here. I asked if he wanted to wait until tomorrow, after our special night together. I was teasing, we both knew he was now too interested to just leave without opening the cell door. It was an added detail, 8 jail cells for prisoners of war. He glared and moved ahead to the door handle.

The noise came first. Groaning, whining, like a circus animal beaten and neglected. In the dim light from the passageway, we saw his silhouette. A hunched-over shadow, curled into a ball on the floor. I flicked the switch to the side and enjoyed Tom's gasp as he stared at our old professor whimpering in the cold. I had only ordered Bella to bring him alive with all the pieces, so of course, may pieces were broken or bruised. I explained that Dumbledore was the last obstacle. We had Marvolo Slytherin in the ministry, and without Dumbledore, Voldemort could run amock too. He'd made my life perfect, I wanted to help make his the same.

Dumbledore looked to us, eyeing me, searching for help. Tom slammed me against a wall and pushed his tongue into my mouth. It was clearly his thank you, and I enjoyed it. I handed me a vial. My gift he said. A fertility potion, which gives us a week to work a baby into me before a four-week break. Similar to how women get pregnant, I think, but it sounded like an excuse to spend the first week of married life in bed naked. Sounded good to me.

"Now, you should go entertain until the reception is over, I want to play with my new toy."

The silencing charm was up before I left the cell, so I wouldn't have to explain the screaming. Neville was trying to be subtle, gently rubbing against Severus now and then, but I knew the invitation he was sending. I took the time to thank my guests, the few I'd invited to share my day. Luna and her father seemed pleased, in their dreamy way, so I wasn't certain on where they stood or if they cared. Hagrid gave me a huge hug, disregarding Dumbledore's rumours over Marvolo after hearing nothing from the old man for months. He ran away from the minister and hadn't made contact since, at least not with him. I tried to brush it off as Dumbledore being too proud to admit he was wrong, an explanation Hagrid easily accepted. My old Gryffindor friends hadn't come, but I made new friends with a couple Slytherins. Draco introduced me to Pansy and Blaise, who seemed okay. It was just networking, but when I had a moment I reached into Tom to watch him do what he did best. Each time I came back to the party, I left a dirty message in his mind about what would happen later. I was desperate for later to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot the whole, Harry-kill-Peter-to-make-a-Horcrux thing, so I'm just dropping it in as if it happened in a time jump. It wasn't an important detail to see, I don't think. If it pisses people off too much, I'll write it like an epilogue or something, but I don't think it's necessary.


End file.
